Million Dollar Cuffs

2012-02-09T21:18:00.003-05:00

Mixtape #35: Followup

I know I said that I would post a PDF of Season 1 of Case Study on here, but I decided to post it in sequence, including the Softball Boilerplate entries (placed throughout as per design,) on a new blog. I want it to live in that online form.
Anyway it's up at http://iwlua.tumblr.com.
THE FUCKING END.

2012-01-11T16:22:00.000-05:00

Case Study – Issue #44: The Alloy’sCurvature

Last Time on Case Study:Вони повернулися до рекламного агентства будинок та збите hxxxxx mxxxxxxxx. Поліція покинула його як це вимкнене щоб бути двійчастий хрест від імені федерального канадського уряду. Майбутнє unwxxxxxx.

INT. ConferenceRoom. Day.

ASSOCIATE is sitting at the table like afamiliar quake. (The walls have been sprayed with a multitude of shells andarmour-shattering explosions.)

BENIFER MCFUCK is standing on theopposite side. (He is leaning so heavily he looks like a sleeping glitch.)

DANNY SUNGLASSES assumes a post by thesmashed windows. (He is a coffee Ra, overseeing a world he assists but has nocontrol over.)

Helicopters fly by heedlessly. (Theylook to be piloted by malfunctioning, automated chairs.)

The congregation of police officersleads a convoy of military vehicles into the immediate zone. (Distant rumblingsindicate a massive wave of co-ordinated support inbound.)

ASSOCIATE

Is there anyother room?

BENIFER MCFUCK

What, yourcondo isn’t good enough for us?

Associate glances at his hammock in thecorner. (His divorce left him with three concurrent ellipses.)

The area around his camp has beenoverrun by vermin. (There is feces littering space used for rat-fights andcrab-sex.)

OBVIOUS MANNEQUIN is screaming into apillow. (Nobody invited Obvious Mannequin.)

ASSOCIATE

What a stupidlife.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Do you thinkwe should go out there and help them?

BENIFER MCFUCK

With what?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

The robots.And all the other goofs and toms still lingering around. Hitler Minnesota gave uschaos and we didn’t stop the chaos.

BENIFER MCFUCK

We still havea dinosaur in play. I wouldn’t worry.

A flock of birds is flying out of town.(They number in the hundreds; epic and mirrorlike.)

Associate watches them disappear beyondthe city limits. (He can see it perfectly from his vantage point.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(watchingbirds.)

I think I seeyour ex-wife.

ASSOCIATE

It’s too earlyin the season for them to be leaving.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

They’reCanadian birds. They know shit that we don’t.

ASSOCIATE

That doesn’tsound right.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Birds leavewhen they smell something wicked.

ASSOCIATE

We never foundthe Portal and Hair Man. Maybe he’s still lurking around down there.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Maybe… I hopeso.

BEAT 1. BEAT 2. TO BEAT 5.

ASSOCIATE

What happensnow? Are we back at work?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

They’ll haveto clean up the corpses first. Then they’ll need to get everyone back intotown, which shouldn’t be hard. For some fucking reason people see this as theirhome.

ASSOCIATE

(joke thenbarbed joke.)

Sounds like along weekend to me. As a side note, a lot of good people died.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

There’s nogood way this can end. I thought it might, but the closer we got… Dreams don’ttranslate well.

ASSOCIATE

You guys saidyou had a plan.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Yeah… Have TheKilroy running the show with Spike Boss, rebuild the city into something new…That won’t happen… It never happens…

BENIFER MCFUCK

We don’t havethe pull to take on the federal government.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Yes... Also itwas too… idealistic. We can’t putrules down to govern how this goes. We just need to see how everything is whenall the bullshit is swept away… We don’t know what we’re doing.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Slept away.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

It seemed alot simpler back when victory was so far off and anything could happen. Thingsare always happening. Dreams can’t beat things…

Associate fishes the gun from his pantsand drops it on the table. (It sounds heavier than it actually is.)

ASSOCIATE

Are we donehere, then? Cause I need to go tender my resignation.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Excuse me?

ASSOCIATE

You don’texpect me to stay here… Why the fuckwould I stay here? To go back to my shambles life? It’s a shambles, bud!

BENIFER MCFUCK

Dope hammocks.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

You’re in itnow. You’re in our timestream. There’s no getting out.

ASSOCIATE

You guys aregonna get me killed, though. Of this I amcertain.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

You don’t getto die now. Haven’t you been paying attention?

ASSOCIATE

I killed a lotof people. They’ll find out sooner or later. I hate to break it to you guys,but if they don’t quarantine this whole city today, then it’s definitely gonnabe abandoned within the year. There’s no saving this place now. It’s fuckingtoxic.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

We need a guylike you. One who doesn’t pay attention. I think that’s what she was trying totell us.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Doubtful.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

You’re in themythology with us now… You’re a hero.

ASSOCIATE

If thiswere a movie… we would be the bad guys.

BENIFER MCFUCK

We’re incharge of the stories now.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

We don’t haveto tell those stories anymore.

2011-12-30T01:03:00.003-05:00

Case Study – Issue #43: In The Future,You Cannot Hate Me Because I Am A Wreck

Last Time on Case Study:
Колега рятує даму з ther яйце на її душі плеча. Динозавр робить відшкодування, але утікає. Три напою вантажівкою та Колегою обговорює його бабу та нову генерацію xxxxxxxxxx що вони позбавляють слави.

[“She’s out there somewhere.” (Вонапевно мертва.)

“Who?” (Ви ідіот.)

“My wife.”

“Your ex-wife? Or did you get marriedagain really fast?” (Так. Так ви розповідаєте йому.)

“My ex-wife, yeah... She’s up thereflying.”

“When you first told me I thought yousaid you were married to some chick, and you had a mini stroke when you weresaying it.”

“No… No, she’s a bird. I was divorced bya bird.”

“How does one go about doing that?”

“Well-“

“I mean, how much of a fuckingridiculous human being do you intend on being?”

“She grew into it. Marriage is just abig metaphor we keep fighting for. Maybe I married a metaphor.”

“You got yourself entangled in a doublemetaphor.”

“That’s… That’s exactly it.”

“What did you learn from it? It’s not sobad if you learned something.”

“I’ve decided to leave it up to otherpeople to tell me what I’m supposed to take away from it.”

“Just listening to it, I feel like I’velearned something.”

“Well… fucking… keep it to yourself.”

“I could tell you.”

“You could let me go. You could do that.”]

EXT. Agency Building. Day.

OBVIOUS MANNEQUIN is by the side of theroad talking shit. (It can be heard clearly, communicating on a more importantwavelength.)

The truck screeches to a halt before anassembled army of police officers. (They could either extinguish their journey,or break into a musical number.)

Two helicopters hover overhead. (Theykick up dust and papers for a moment, ultimately climbing to a higheraltitude.)

HITLER MINNESOTA is standing behind theassembly, up a set of stone stairs. (He looks very proud of himself.)

He is unarmed, holding a large bottle ofvodka in his left hand. (His breathing would dictate that he is intoxicated.)

The truck screeches to a halt and anglesitself sideways. (It involves an un-cinematic sequence of three-point turns.)

ASSOCIATE, DANNY SUNGLASSES, and BENIFERMCFUCK exit the vehicle. (They look very proud of themselves.)

HITLERMINNESOTA

(smiling,spitting through medieval teeth.)

Whatever fucking plan you have is bullshit!

BENIFER MCFUCK

(with no spacebetween the sentences.)

Shut the fuck up nobody even likes you!

HITLERMINNESOTA

(head heldhigh.)

I’m gonna takethe three of you out to the Reeperbahn and explore the universe of ways youtried to fuck this up.

ASSOCIATE

What even isthis? What are you even doing here?There’s no manifesto or list of demands.

HITLERMINNESOTA

I talked aboutit on TV.

ASSOCIATE

Nobody watchesTV.

HITLERMINNESOTA

Your momdoes.

ASSOCIATE

(like alumberjack.)

That wasstupid. You’re stupid.

HITLERMINNESOTA

I could talkto you for a week about this and youwouldn’t get it. This is how the worldhas to work. Everyone wants it to be this way. That’s why nobody’s came tostop me yet.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Yeah we weretalking about that earlier. What’s the deal with that?

HITLERMINNESOTA

This is so farabove you, don’t even concern yourselves with it. Just… Don’t.

BENIFER MCFUCK

We shot yourassistant.

HITLERMINNESOTA

Oh yeah? Didyou see what he did to the big boss lady?

ASSOCIATE

No we savedher life.

HITLERMINNESOTA

No you didn’t.

ASSOCIATE

Yes we did.

HITLERMINNESOTA

Are youfucking with me? Because I’ll find out later.

ASSOCIATE

…No she’ssafe.

HITLERMINNESOTA

Where?

ASSOCIATE

I’m not goingto tell you. What?

HITLERMINNESOTA

Fine, fuck it,whatever. I’ll get her later.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

You’re toofucked in the head to do something like this yourself. Who’s pulling yourstrings, Minnesota?

HITLERMINNESOTA
I’m… deeply insulted that you’ve seeneverything you’ve seen and you think I couldn’t do it. I guess I’ll have to show you the fucking Reeperbahn toshow you exactly what I am capable of.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(out of time.)

No. Shut up.

DANNYSUNGLASSES
Someone paid for all this. Someonekept the military out of here. Someone’s let you survive for this long.

HITLERMINNESOTA

You’re sogoddamn deluded.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(addressingdanny sunglasses.)

He doesn’tknow shit, just give up.

HITLERMINNESOTA

(with the zestof a maestro.)

Goget ‘em, boys.

The army of officers remains still.(Their guns remain holstered.)

Some look around and search for subtlemovements. (There is a palpable uncertainty.)

HITLERMINNESOTA

(visiblyshaken.)
I said fucking go and get them! Bring them to me!

OFFICER 1

We’re notsupposed to do that.

HITLERMINNESOTA
Excuse me?

OFFICER 2

I think Vegasgot this whole thing shut down.

OFFICER 1

Really? Wasthere something official?

OFFICER 2

Not on paper.I think we’re just supposed to disperse.

OFFICER 1

Oh… Okay then,fuck this.

The officers begin walking away from theentrance. (They are chatting and murmuring amongst themselves.)

HITLERMINNESOTA

(steppingforward.)

Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!

OFFICER 3

It’s over,man.

HITLERMINNESOTA
Um… OKAY.Have you forgotten about your families I have in my fucking secret torture island?

OFFICER 1

No that was aruse. They were intercepted en route. Everyone’s cool.

HITLERMINNESOTA

(denying likea plastic bag.)

No… No, you…

Hitler Minnesota watches his armed forceabandon him. (They don’t even look back; they’re off the clock.)

Associate, Benifer McFuck, and DannySunglasses are revealed by a pathway encased by dissolving people. (Powerstances.)

Danny Sunglasses is aiming an MP5 in hisgeneral direction. (He is smiling with the unbroken confidence of the earlierintroduction.)

Hitler Minnesota tosses his bottle awayand walks down the stairs. (He challenges nature itself to bring the tornadoupon him.)

Benifer McFuck walks back to the truck,dragging Associate with him. (They have a spring in their step, even Associate,who is clearly unaware.)

Hitler Minnesota is standing withinconversation distance. (He is ready for a scrap.)

HITLERMINNESOTA

Alright. I’mnot entirely sure what’s going on here, but let’sjust say you win. The three of you stumbled into a checkmate.

DANNYSUNGLASSES
Stumbling ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.

HITLERMINNESOTA

I know allabout you, your faggot partner, and that-that-that fucking intern or whoever you’ve got back there. What are theydoing?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Don’t youworry. What do you know about me? Have you been reading grown up magazines?

HITLERMINNESOTA

I know enoughto know that you’re that bitch’s bitches,and I know she’ll shit on you just like she shit on me.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

You and I bothknow she did nothing of the sort.

HITLERMINNESOTA

This wholething I’m doing, you have no idea how big this is. This is just the beginning.And… It’s ugly, and it’s fucked up, I know that, but… I’m notcrazy. Like they say.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

You and I bothknow that’s not true.

They stand in silence for 30 seconds. (Thefall of civilizations can be told by the dramatic changes in Hitler Minnesota’sbreathing during this confrontation.)

Danny Sunglasses simply stares intoHitler Minnesota’s eyes. (Each projects wildly different energy; fury andparental disappointment.)

HITLERMINNESOTA

So whathappens now?

Danny Sunglasses fires a burst intoHitler Minnesota’s left leg. (It was insultingly quick.)

He crumples to the ground, screaming andfussin’. (He grabs at his thigh and shin, never a more reprehensible shape.)

HITLERMINNESOTA

You son of a bitch!

Danny Sunglasses steps aside, revealingBenifer McFuck with a flamethrower strapped to his back. (The stream of wavyair rising from the nozzle is a heavy-metal filter.)

He unleashes a chemical fireball atHitler Minnesota, covering him entirely. (It roars exactly like you wouldimagine.)

He screams in agony, thrashing andtumbling all over the dusty ground. (It smells worse than you would imagine;the boiling flesh, the burning hair.)

Associate comes up next, dragging awheeled vat of liquid attached to a spraying hose. (He drags the dolly, joggingas fast as he can.)

The vat is filled with old urine. (Thetall canister is made of glass; the contents are cloudy and nightmarish.)

Associate looks to Benifer and Danny,who nod solemnly. (The static of flames and scorched throat noise is surfedupon by their reserve.)

Associate fumbles with the hose end fora moment. (The trigger sticks; each second is a panicked minute.)

A fountain of piss soaks HitlerMinnesota’s body, slowly extinguishing the flames. (Associate sprays it as wideand liberally as he can.)

He lays curled on the ground, hisclothes in the air around them, and his flesh charred and bubbling. (The soundof cracking skin flicks at your earlobes.)

Danny Sunglasses walks towards thetruck, fishing a remote control out of his pocket. (It has two buttons; one redand one blue.)

Benifer walks over to Hitler Minnesotaand grabs him by the arm. (He cares not for the mess spread down his torso andlegs.)

Hitler Minnesota screams out in inhumanpain. (He is bleeding from every point of interest on his face.)

Benifer orders Associate to grab theother arm. (He obliges, abandoning the urine silo and hoisting Hitler Minnesotaonto his knees.)

Together, they drag his twitching, hot,dripping body in pursuit of Danny. (A thin trail of goo marks their way.)

Danny presses the blue button on theremote control, causing the walls of the trailer to burst off. (Soft explosivesupon the vertices of the walls pop them away like bottle caps.)

The interior of the truck wasprincipally dominated by a large, red rocket. (Shrouded by darkness, the revealwas as stark as it was cartoonish.)

The brigade of aimless cops watches onin astonishment. (Nobody knows what to do; they are governed by rules.)

Benifer and Associate drag HitlerMinnesota’s body up the ramp at the back and hoist him on top of the rocket.(It is a clumsy affair.)

Danny Sunglasses sets to work chaininghim to the smooth, polished surface. (It is at a 45 degree angle, aiming awayfrom the truck, elevated off the ground.)

They wind the chain around ten times andlock it shut. (Danny ducks under, batting the bloody, sensitive arm off hisshoulders.)

Benifer McFuck looks at Associate andgestures towards Hitler Minnesota with his head. (Something has been earned.)

Associate gazes upon the frail, horrificbody of his chief antagonist. (A fluttering, sporadically blinking moral centrelighting the rest of the civilized world to their cause.)

He pulls the gun from his pants andplaces it against Hitler Minnesota’s pelvis. (A flock of birds explodes fromthe ravine and disappears into the fog.)

He fires off six shots, blowing away theremaining flesh and bone constituting Hitler Minnesota’s reproductive zone. (Thereare chunks, and they shoot.)

It has been constant screaming for awhile by this point, so the increased decibel is barely negligible. (He canstill appreciate the gravity of his current state.)

The three jump down from the rocketfloor and walk back towards the audience of public servants, rendered impotentby the grim strategy playing out before them. (There is a paranormal spring intheir step; the adrenaline has gone thermonuclear.)

Danny Sunglasses strikes a dramaticpose. (He raises his arms to his sides and enacts a half pose.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Ladiesand gentlemen, Hitler Minnesota!

He presses the red button on his remote.(Capital R.)

The rocket sputters and shakes, growlingto life. (Smoke and flames cough out the rear.)

It lifts off into the distance. (It goesfrom zero to holy-dicks in less time than a spit-take.)

It arcs over the debris and fallenarchitecture. (Hitler Minnesota struggles pitifully against the restraints.)

It disappears into a vanishing pointdefined by a disinterested culture. (The sound of the engine rolls down theopposite side of the hill.)

A fain explosion can be heard.

A faint explosion, then silence.

2011-12-17T21:48:00.003-05:00

Case Study – Issue #42: Drink Up(Cheers.)

Last Time on Case Study:

Зустрітий Вони Jxxxxx Зоопарк та Sxxxx Бос у школі. Jxxxxx відкривається щоб бути відвертий кислотний робот посланий Hxxxxx Mxxxxxxxx. Є битва та Jxxxxx убивається, разом з найманцями та Sxxxx Босом' xxxxxxx. xxxxx використання нове зачарування, розрізання діри у космосі та тягнучих зброї з це.

EXT. Dervish Road. Day.

ASSOCIATE, BENIFER MCFUCK, and DANNYSUNGLASSES are returning to their truck. (They are keenly unaware of theirsurroundings, each meditating on their private failings.)

Danny is limping, all bandaged and hastilyrepaired beneath his exquisite wardrobe. (He uses a pump-action shotgun as acane.)

A Venus monster is crouched over thecorpse of LADY WITH EGG ON SHOULDER. (They are drawn to the otherworldlyquakings of the humanoid parasite.)

It is sucking energy from what might havebeen her face. (It sounds like keys falling down a long, thin pipe.)

Associate runs over and kicks the thingoff her. (His heel connects with the side of its head and dents it carnivaly.)

It spreads out on its back, immediatelycrippled. (It struggles faintly against the onset of inevitable death.)

Associate kicks its head in. (He stompshard and collapses it like an easy, old melon.)

He reaches into its head and grabs the stolenenergy back. (It clings to his hand like a mist composed of self-replicatinghalos.)

He throws it back into Lady With Egg OnShoulder like a touchdown. (The stuff disappears into her tortured frame.)

Benifer McFuck is manipulating the deadcreature with his foot. (A child playing with roadkill while something stirs deepwithin him.)

ASSOCIATE

(the worldreduced to a strobelit mushroom cloud in his wake.)

There are nowords.

There is another creature slumped upagainst the wall of a nearby storefront. (Emaciated and starved, the crittersrefuse to recycle it.)
QUIZZICAL VELOCIRAPTOR strides down the street and jumps away from it. (The rendezvous is derailed, the beautifully feathered beast distracted by the alien corpse.)
It barks sharply and jogs away. (It clings to the opposite side of the road, weaving uncertainly to their location.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(scanning theland for additional aliens.)

When we were drawingup the agreement, there were supposed to be thousands of these things comingover.

ASSOCIATE

Really.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Yeah.Initially, I assumed they changed the plan, but… I think they actually sentthem all over, and they’re just dead now.

ASSOCIATE

Really.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

It was afucked up plan from the start. They can’t survive on this planet. It’s too coldfor them and all the diseases and bacteria just eat away at them. We never finished the program to properly acclimate them.

ASSOCIATE

(staring intothe shoewound of the dead alien at his feet.)

I was thinkingabout these things, and something occurred to me. Souls don’t exist.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

This is true.

ASSOCIATE

So what thehell are they sucking out of these people?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

This is true.

EXT. Truck Proximity. Day.

Benifer McFuck opens the truck trailerand disappears into the stacked crates. (You can hear bags sliding.)

He returns with three bottles ofwhiskey. (He holds them between his fingers like a beautiful head dress.)

He hands Danny Sunglasses and Associatea bottle. (He cracks his open and inhales the sauce like a baby fresh from the birth canal.)

They all begin drinking like pirates. (Thelids are discarded.)

ASSOCIATE

What are thechances we’ll die in the next couple hours?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(swirlingbottle around.)

I don’t thinkhave the leverage we had for the past while so it might be a wash.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(leaning againsttruck, staring at ground.)

Doesn’t tasteright anymore.

ASSOCIATE

Do we have thehorses to take on an army of cops?

DANNYSUNGLASSES
I don’t think they’d be called an army, but maybe.

BENIFER MCFUCK

They don’twanna be here doing all this.

ASSOCIATE
How do you know?

BENIFER MCFUCK

The wholething stinks. I think they’re being told to lay low. I know for a fact a lot ofthem managed to leave before this whole thing kicked off. The ones who are here want to be here and I refuse to believe it's because they're all secret anarchists. There’s somethinggoing on.

ASSOCIATE

Who would bepulling the strings here?

BENIFER MCFUCK

(washing alcoholflavour around in his mouf.)

Somethingfederal, I would think. There’s a lot at stake here. Bellkirk’s involvedsomehow.

ASSOCIATE

Seriously?

BENIFER MCFUCK
Yes. I haven’t worked out all the angles yet… But there’s too many coincidenceshere. Nothing adds up. No...

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Too much complacency.Reeperbahn or not, you don’t get a bunch of armed law enforcement officialsplaying along with a massacre, and you don’t go this long without actual militaryintervention.

ASSOCIATE

Are we fuckingeverything up then?

DANNYSUNGLASSES
Probably.

Associate takes a long, sorrowful swigfrom the bottle. (He coughs and makes an amateur’s face.)

ASSOCIATE

If Bellkirk’s involved,all this space stuff fits a bit better. There's no way they could recover from this, though. There's no way this could be kept secret. And what's to gain?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

It’s allspeculation.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Fuck that, theangles are there, I just don’t know why.

DANNYSUNGLASSES
Whatever.

BEAT 1, BEAT 2, BEAT 3.

ASSOCIATE

My greatgrandmother was 95 when she died. I thought about her more after she passed. It’sa total headfuck, thinking of all the shit she would have experienced. Shewould have seen the world change so drastically over her lifetime. But… Shenever talked about it. She never articulated it to any of her kids orgrandkids. I wish she would have, but then the more I thought about it, itseemed like she didn’t want to bother. The youth would never understand whatshe was talking about, they had to experience it themselves. There’s no way tospare anyone the transition, or to make it easier. It’s like losing yourvirginity. She hated the police, and the one thing she would talk about is atime when cops would abuse their power. And now the tables are turned. I wouldn’thave the heart to explain this to people who weren’t here. I wouldn’t want tobother either…

Associate takes another raspy gulp. (Hegroans against path of fire running down his throat.)
Quizzical Velociraptor leaps on top of the trailer. (It contemplates the lack of right angles in the sky.)

ASSOCIATE

There’sprobably a bunch of vigilantes out there just like us, planning how they’regonna take Hitler Minnesota down, fix the city, kill all the bad guys and savethe day… He must have given birth to a whole new breed of heroes, comingbetween a man or woman and their families and friends and everything they holddear. We might fuck up all their plans and ruin their big moment… Has peoplebehaving irrationally. They got some weirded justice going on somewhere in thatmurk. But this is some first come first serve shit. I understand now.

Quizzical Velociraptor jumps down to the ground. (He senses a change in the atmosphere.)
Benifer swallows the equivalent of fiveshots of liquor and smashes the bottle on the ground. (Somewhere between a period and a semicolon.)

BENIFER MCFUCK

I’m sick ofthis shit, let’s go.

2011-12-11T03:31:00.001-05:00

Case Study – Issue #41: Gradually I’llSnap These Synapses In Half (The Between Goat.)

Last Time on Case Study:
Які вони вони зупинили вантажівку тому, що лушпайка втечі unearthed. Вони знайшли Blimey Cokenose тягнуча дама з яйцем на плечі та колезі убиває його. Вони знаходять де персонал кінчений, котрий є у nearby школі. Вони були викрадені найманцями. Три убивають два з них та infiltrate кампус будинок.

[She doesn’t know how to act.

In a world governed by honesty ratherthan dreams, she would be our messiah.

The world revealed its true form to her,and from there she chased it when it ran off.

In a perfect world she would be top tierpeople.]

- ?

INT. Campus Lobby. Day.

ASSOCIATE, BENIFER MCFUCK, and DANNYSUNGLASSES breach the perimeter. (The air is wet with death.)

They skulk through the corridors. (Eachmovement causes ripples that threaten to betray them.)

The exterior is a warzone, but theinterior is a heedless abattoir. (There is blood and discarded ornaments ofcivilization, abandoned only in the moment of civilization’s respiratorycollapse.)

They clear the lobby and move onwards toa large, open room. (They behave as close to soldiers as they can manage.)

INT. Congregation Room. Day.

JULIEN ZOO is the first identifiablecharacter. (He has taken the position of ringleader, radiating cement.)

There is a gathering of cadavers closestto them, face down or face wrecked. (Fresh, dripping, and casually courting thecoldness.)

SPIKE BOSS is encircled by shadowyfigures. (To the untrained eye she could be mistaken for commanding a posse.)

Each figure is an adult man wearing ablack morphsuit, splashed with black paint. (Each one is the exact same heightand build.)

They play with shadows like childrenplay with danger. (They have always been at odds with the natural world,whether observed or otherwise.)

Spike Boss is steely and reserved,surrounded as she was by hellish conundrums. (She is strengthened by thefamiliarity of it.)

Associate, Benifer, and Danny enter thescene without any attempt at strategy. (They stand tall and scowl like they’vegot the advantage.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(aimingweapon, talk-standing and not scrap-standing.)

What’s withthe meat pile, cunts?

JULIEN ZOO

(recess astonished.)
Who’s that?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

King of thecunts. Answer the question.

JULIEN ZOO

(cocksure.)

Oh, hey! Benifer McFuck… Danny Sunglasses… Andyou’re the guy she sent me to talk to! What was your name?

ASSOCIATE

(no, sir.)

Fuck you.

JULIEN ZOO

You guys cursetoo much. It’s… unprofessional.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Fuck you said go fuck yourself, King of the Cunts wants to know why you’re doinghere all cocksuckingly.

SPIKE BOSS

(severely.)

You need toleave.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(in step withthe tension.)

No this is asclose to a lunch break as we get today.

JULIEN ZOO

(braised withlevity.)

You shouldlisten to her. There’s a whole worldout there that’s looking for you, and you’re making it easy for them. I don't wanna be the guy to bring you in, I've got more important things to do. You can just leave.

ASSOCIATE

Have you beenworking for Hitler Minnesota this wholetime?

JULIEN ZOO

Well, yeeeeeah, he built my brain and stole mybody and gave me all this skin and clothes. He’s pretty much my dad.

ASSOCIATE

(doe-eyed.)

You’re an alien?

JULIEN ZOO

(“Ummmmmm…”)

…I’m a robot. One of the robots he stole fromR&D. Alien?

ASSOCIATE

Yeah… Wait, what did I say?

JULIEN ZOO

(like the goodol’ days.)

Shut up. Whyare you even doing anything?

The shadow cretins are lifting up SpikeBoss and dragging her away. (They grip her by the arms; she can never resist.)

The goons are stepping forward. (Uncharacteristicallysilent, they ready their weapons for a sure thing.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(adjustingtargets.)

Put her the fuck down!

JULIEN ZOO

(the hair isbecoming unhinged.)

SHUT UP. SHUT UP. You’re not calling the shotsanymore. You can’t be weird and stupid in here. I’ve been waiting for a longtime, playing coy, getting coffee,making copies, and it all ends now.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(blood rushingto fingers.)

Last warning, put her down.

JULIEN ZOO

(the ego pullsa big orange lever.)

No! You idiot! There’s more of us than thereis of you! There’s a platoon here!

Danny ponders for a spell. (The shadowpeople are frozen with Spike Boss in their possession, collectively fixated onthe barrel of the gun.)

He lowers his gun and tosses it to theground. (He lifts his hands up like someone just called him on a fakeanecdote.)

He begins walking over to a desk to hisleft. (Slow and cautious as not to alarm Julien’s emotional entourage.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(like at asupport group.)

You’re right.I got caught up in the moment.

ASSOCIATE

(still holdingthe line.)

Danny.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(looking atground.)

Only recently did I fully appreciate thescale of your whole operation. You’re an actualspy. This was all so well planned out…

JULIEN ZOO

You could havebeen a part of it.

SPIKE BOSS
You three need to leave. Please.

Danny stands before the table. (He runshis hands over the surface and clears it of dust.)

He grabs a pencil and begins scrawlingon the table. (The graphite is as sharp as a fractal.)

The tip of the pencil does not makecontact with the table, but is penetrating the air above it. (Like a scalpelinto the flesh of reality, he pierces the space with ease.)

He drags it across the length of thetabletop. (He struggles against it, like pulling the pencil down through apillowcase and rendering it in twain.)

The mercenaries widen their stances.(History would dictate that down this way madness lies.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(politiking for the academy.)

I suppose it’stoo late to change sides now, isn’t it?

JULIEN ZOO

We’re way pastthat point now, sorry. But this was never in your DNA. You’re all mavericks andcan’t be counted on.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Are you sayingI don’t have patience?

JULIEN ZOO

(debatingvalue systems with an opposite.)

Yes… Yes that’sexactly it.

Danny tosses the pencil away. (Itcartwheels across the floor.)

The air upon the table is wavy. (Itlooks like a leaking gas line.)

He leans over and acts. (He has beenacting the whole time. There are no thoughts.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(the mouth asserious as the rims of his shades.)
You ever see a gremlin clap its hands?

JULIEN ZOO

Excuse me?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

A happy gremlin. Have you ever even seena gremlin? Ever?

BEAT.

JULIEN ZOO
(the widest, most human smile of the day.)

You’re insane.

BEAT.

DANNYSUNGLASSES
You’re right. But they don’t let normal people into the champagne room.

Danny reaches into a dimensional riftbefore him. (All the way down to his elbows; grabbing a bag out of a canoe.)

He pulls out a small turret, supportedby an accordion like an old tripod. (He lifts it up like a suit on a hangar ina bag covered in plastic.)

He immediately opens fire on the group.(He engages every muscle in his body to keep it steady.)

Associate and Benifer follow suit. (Theytarget the group from an abandoned angle.)

The bafflement of the mercenaries causesa lapse in reaction time. (The batting average has always rested on the elementof surprise.)

Their bodies are torn apartunromantically. (Each bullet cleaveshuge brushstrokes off their bodies.)

They return fire as best they can.(Their arms are essentially useless after the first few seconds of chaoticwaves.)

Several bullets strike Danny in the armsand shoulders. (He quickly loses control of the turret and swings away.)

He falls to the floor and crawls forcover. (He is reaching frantically for something to defend himself with.)

Benifer charges towards the fewremaining thugs and draws their attention.)

Associate is barrelling towards theunarmed shadow figures. (They look towards each other and inch back.)

He is shooting them down like a pen fullof hogs. (They do not fight the reality of it, crumpling to the groundregardless of the entry point.)

Benifer unsheathes a pump action shotgunfrom his sleeve, grabbing it as it falls. (He is making himself a problem forJulien Zoo.)

He empties a shot into Julien Zoo’schest. (He is shunted backwards but retains his grounding.)

Benifer runs up behind him and sues himas a human shield. (Sparks and streams of corrosive acid spray from the blastpoint.)

He drives his fist into Julien’s back,pumping thick streams of acid at the enemy. (Benifer aims his hostage like aweapon and pounds seething agony at anyone before him.)

The panic of the room is like anelectric eel in a matrix of steel wool. (Those that are not lying in butcheredheaps are screaming as the liquid lays waste to their extremities.)

The hired hands fire erratically as theyexpire, littering Julien with additional rounds. (They fall back into a primalsurvival mindset, doing everything they can to attack the situation.)

Benifer drops Julien to the ground.(Like a bag by a man fresh from the airport.)

He is spilling acid all over, creatingtoxic smoke while digging a slow grave. ( He galvanizes whatever power he hasto pitifully crabwalk away.)

BENIFER MCFUCK

Cockslap.

Benifer blows Julien’s face apart withone final shot. (The pendulum can swing no more.)

His cyborg self twitches and vibratesfor a few moments. (No doubt the head is not the most necessary part to controlthe body.)

Benifer rushes over to Danny to assessthe damage. (He tosses the gun, as is the style at the time.)

Associate has finished off the rest ofthe darkly clad assailants. (Either dead or dormant, they are pacified.)

Those not instantly detained werefinished off by Spike Boss as they lay on the ground. (She smashes heads andbeats upon throats.)

She attacks them with an entrancingsavagery. (We have to be sure.)

BENIFER MCFUCK

(calling uponall memories of medicine and doctoring.)

Aw fuck… There was no way to do that right.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(laying on theground, looking skyward.)

You can diefrom wounds like this… If they hit an artery. I could fucking die right here.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(peelingjacket away and looking for damage.)

Shut the fuckup.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(growling.)

I don’t wannalose any arms.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(moving ontoabdomen.)

They’re justpunk wounds. We just gotta… Cover them up, right?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(sitting up.)
Does neither of us know any firstaid?

BENIFER MCFUCK

(holding timein place with his bare hands unrealistically.)

It’s just…. Apply pressure. Find a shirt orsomething… Make sure it doesn’t get infected.

DANNYSUNGLASSES
Stop being full of shit and fix my goddamn shot body. And find the mescaline.

Spike Boss is sitting on the floor, upagainst the wall. (She checks her pockets for cigarettes.)

SPIKE BOSS
They killed all of them. They cut the meat off everybody to bring to HitlerMinnesota.

ASSOCIATE

Yeah we sawthe pile outside.

SPIKE BOSS

They weregoing to take me away… It was all building to this.

ASSOCIATE

It’s okay now.You did good.

SPIKE BOSS
It’s not okay. You don’t understand.

ASSOCIATE

Okay… Sorry.

SPIKE BOSS
It’s never going to be okay. Not from here.

ASSOCIATE

What happensnow?

SPIKE BOSS

Thanks forasking.

2011-12-02T00:00:00.001-05:00

Case Study – Issue #40: Left-HookAstronomy (Lady, I’m a Watch.)

Last Time on Case Study:
Там була насильницька втеча. З їхньою таємничою вантажівкою, вони боролись через кислотний роботи та sped. Там gunfire та кричачий. Вони зустріли вертоліт що захотіли захопити їх. Benifer завдало поразки це використовуюче зачарування та його голі руки.

EXT. Scene of the Crime. Day.

The truck is already stopped when youget there. (The motor is off and the doors are closed.)

ASSOCIATE, DANNY SUNGLASSES, and BENIFERMCFUCK are looking at a thing. (They are lined up, the wind at their left.)

The escape pod from the staff escape hasemerged from the ground. (A gang of plastic bags tumbles by.)

The ground is punched up like a bulletthrough a clay. (The rises into the air like a glorious trumpet.)

The hatch is opened, and it has beenevacuated. (They left behind their purses, bottles, and rations.)

Footsteps lead away across dusty ground.(They are clumsy, like bison second guessing a tornado.)

ASSOCIATE

(hands in pockets.)

That can’t beproductive.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(staring intothe emergence hole.)

I refuse tobelieve Hitler Minnesota has subterranean war machines.

BENIFER MCFUCK

They didn’tcome up for a cool glass of milk.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

You don’t knowthat.

BENIFER MCFUCK

I just wantsome fuckin’ milk bro.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Quit tobin’out, Tom.

ASSOCIATE

(staring offinto the direction of their pilgrimage.)

Wouldn’t takea genius… All it takes is time.

HEAVY BEAT.

ASSOCIATE

Should we goafter them?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Follow yourheart and dreams.

ASSOCIATE

(holding outhand.)

Give mesomething less sassy.

Danny slaps a pistol in his hand. It wasso quick; difficult to keep it cinematic.

ASSOCIATE

(looking atgun.)

Was that nextto your penis?

BENIFER MCFUCK

I fucked thatgun.

ASSOCIATE

(staring backdown the road.)

I hate youmore than drowning in spiders.

Associate begins following the tracks.(He keeps his gun handled, hovering next to a dirtily swaggered body.)

ASSOCIATE

I just can’tstop shooting people.

EXT. Cold War Corn Rows. Day.

Associate leads the way along theclustered trail of footsteps. (He sweats feverishly beneath his suit beneaththe sun.)

The air is still. (The wind has stopped;some birds fly overhead.)

A stray cat crosses their path, staresat them, and then runs away. (He had exempted most animals from his internalmonologue… Save for one.)

Associate pushes a shopping cart fromhis path. (It rattles and crashes like an ice chandelier.)

A solitary figure lurches into view.(Beyond the small craters, it cuts illegally across an intersection.)

It is a mercenary dragging some humancargo. (The body looks empty and light, like string of pylons.)

An armed goon wearing armour fashionedfrom the corpse of Big Daddy Snake comes into the clearing. (There is nofinesse to his movements; blunt and butchery.)

This man is dragging the body of LADYWITH EGG ON SHOULDER by the leg. (She bounces like ragdoll physics.)

The cretin spots them and freezes inplace. (He is tall and heroic.)

He looks to be assured of himself.(Nobody can see his face, obscured as it was by the snake head devouring him.)

Associate raises his weapon and beginsfiring steady shots. (Two handed, and with a bowler’s concentration.)

By the time the man drops the leg he isalready in a frantic state. (He was reaching for a weapon, he was snapping backto reality.)

He is struck in the shoulder and leg. (Bloodtakes on the tones of the world around it; dark, rusted, and infested.)

He crumples to the ground. (He isscreaming, betraying his disguise.)

Associate jogs over and fires a shotinto the man’s face without speaking. (The man’s pleading is abruptly cut torind.)

It cuts a fucked up cylinder through hisright eye. (The blood pools in the helmet.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Saskatchewanstyle.

ASSOCIATE

I don’t haveas much patience as maybe I should.

BENIFER MCFUCK

You get thatadrenaline back yet?

ASSOCIATE

Nah… Nah, Ijust feel like a towel now. Steady towel vibes…

Associate looks down at the corpse ofhis old comrade. (The wind brushes against him, cooling the sweat andrefreshing him.)

She is flayed, ripped, and dried. (He isbarely identifiable as a human.)

He nudges her legs closed with his foot.(Respect for the dead in times that don’t acknowledge anything but sinistermotives and sexual explosions.)

ASSOCIATE

(fallingthrough time.)

Under the coldlight of a new day…

BENIFER MCFUCK

Is that BigDaddy Snake’s head over that guy’s head?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(dry throat.)
Small world.

EXT. Downtown Campus. Day.

They arrive at a smoked-out academicbuilding. (It’s like a monochrome photograph.)

The ground is littered with beer bottlesand empty ammunition clips. (It’s a strip club, unfolded like a ruined papercrane, and walked on during a weekend.)

The walls are covered in the blood ofexecutions. (A tapestry of blood nailed in place by uniform bullet holes.)

A convoy of jeeps is parked cleanlyalong the sidewalk. (They would have been washed days ago.)

Each component of the entourage readiestheir improbably weaponry. (Small arms and machine guns casting third-worldshadows on the worst first-world hangover in modern times.)

They pass under a corpse hanging by theneck from a street lamp. (He is naked and piñata’d up by gunfire.)

It twists like chilling out. (A messageto all seafaring criminals.)

They cross pass the jeeps and creeptowards the front entrance. (The pill has been popped.)

Laid bare before them are a dozenskeletons, stripped clean of flesh. (It’s an impoverished serial killer’s frontlawn.)

The flesh and organs are piled up not faraway. (A cloud of flies grows stronger by the second.)

The front doors open and two mercenariesstep out, chatting casually. (They are frighteningly removed from the outsider’sworld.)

Associate, Benifer McFuck, and Danny Sunglasseshug close to an alley, hidden from view. (All hobos of fortune speak the samelanguage when it comes to stealth.)

Benifer McFuck lifts a finger to hislips and issues a cease-talk. (His eyes speak schematics.)

He listens closely to his gloves, shakesthem, and then shakes his head. (The universe is not with them.)

BENIFER MCFUCK

(holleringacross the way.)

Oh shit guy! Igot my leg stuck in a hot dog! You friends got any mustard?

The thugs perk up like a dog andbiscuit. (They throw caution to the wind, reinforced by tribalism.)

They run over, hotly anticipating macabreentertainment. (Their bodies clank and click, burdened by unseen tools.)

Upon reaching the alley they are grabbedby Danny and Benifer. (It happens quick like an alligator attack.)

Associate hangs back instinctively. (Hemakes like a banana.)

Danny shoves a knife into the neck ofhis captive, pulling it sideways and ducking under the fissure of blood. (Heshakes and twitches, his body succumbing to shock.)

Benifer has his hostage by the skull andis smashing it against the corner of the building. (He is savage and theuniverse pents its fingers.)

The screams are suffocated by blade orbrick. (They hacked the system early and let their lives drain from them,slowly, slowly.)

Benifer continues until the skull lookslike a robbed pie chart. (Roadkill upon a stiff neck.)

DANNYSUNGLASSES
I feel optimistic about what just happened.

2011-11-25T00:28:00.001-05:00

Case Study – Issue #39: Amidst theWrithe of Parapets (Moving Pictures II.)

Last Time on Case Study:
Вони вносять таємницю гараж де вони держать їхній транспорт вантажівка повна устаткування. З'єднайте urinates. Danny описує як роботи були замислені щоб прожити на Venus, торгував до Venus уряду для зброї та технології. Hitler Minnesota викрав їх перед тим, як він панував. Агентство brokering мають справу з їх з невідомих причин.

EXT. Crater Crypt Motherfucking Bank. Day.

A stone wall at the back of the bankrises up like a reaper’s stiff, outstretched arm. (Like a garage door from the70’s, it swings forward and alerts the sentry units.)

The small squadron of acid robots takesnotice and moved in to investigate. (Each one sounds like a leaking boiler.)

Their raise their weapons aimlessly andstare into the darkness. (They hug the edges anticipating, like any rationalhuman, some new, hideous impossibility.)

The sound of a furious engine growscloser. (It growls and clears its throat down in a needlepoint.)

A pair of high beams flash on at thelast moment with the glee of a prank. (The robots are taken aback and stumblebackwards.)

The massive semi blasts out of the hole,clipping one of the droids that was too drunk or whatever to get out of the wayin time. (It is knocked onto its back, the acid membrane reacting violentlyagainst the ground; designed for another world, every movement is a serpentine affront.)

BENIFER MCFUCK, the worst person, cranksthe wheel to the right and nearly puts the kaibosh on the whole escape. (Henarrowly avoids crashing into a building across the street, his face frozen insome sort of pornographic snapshot.)

The robots open fire on the truck.(Bright pulses of blue energy come at them in rapid succession.)

ASSOCIATE and DANNY SUNGLASSES, seatedbeside Benifer McFuck, shield their faces from the bolts of energy. (The energyburns solids upon contact; their doors are struck by gobs of magma.)

Danny unsheathes a submachine gun fromno man’s land and fires wildly at the attackers. (His gloved finger strugglesto pull the trigger.)

A stray shot punches a hole through thewindshield. (The edges of the entry point glow red.)

Danny kicks the compromised pane off theframe and leans out the front. (He is as a monkey clinging to a tree.)

Associate follows Danny’s lead, climbingout of the front and shooting at the things. (He is spread out on the hood,firing as blind as a dove in a submarine.)

Their recklessness is like potentmustard. (The assailants are blurs uponthe canvas of Benifer’s erratic manouvers.)

ASSOCIATE

(rollercoaster face.)

Aim for the bodies and heads and legs!

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(adjustingsunglasses.)
FUCKYASELF!

Multiple rounds strike the small taskforce of corrosive droids. (Their frames are weak and underdeveloped.)

They give chase like birds of prey butare cut down. (They keep pace beside the truck, but their proximity merelysharpens Danny’s resolve.)

Their faces and bodies dent from theforce of the ricochet. (It’s like an antenna being hit with a rock.)

Their components malfunction and acidsprays everywhere. (The intricate system that keeps the acid flowing is like anetwork of organs, although more poorly contained.)

Each defeated robot is a waterfall ofacid like the light from a bulb. (There are two that remain, limping weaklyever onward as Benifer fixates upon an exit path and peels away.)

EXT. Road Home. Day.

One of the tires is melted. (The roadturns witchier.)

The acid from the robot they hit duringtheir escape has damaged the undercarriage. (Benifer tightens his grip on thewheel he is wholly untrained to use in the first place.)

The front wheel coughs up sparks andnobody cares. (Gangsta lean to the finish line.)

The truck swerves madly on account of theimpediment and the unfiltered perversion behind the wheel. (Benifer laughs tohimself like everyone does in similar situations.)

ASSOCIATE

(staringstraight ahead.)

Okay I think I’veexpelled the last of my adrenaline. I want to go home now.

BENIFER MCFUCK

No can do,ponyboy. BACK INTO THE CUMSHIT.

ASSOCIATE

(fixing tie, unbuttoningjacket.)

I don’t havemagic gun holes like you guys. I’m gonna be useless in a minute so let’s playit cool.

Danny Sunglasses yanks an automaticrifle from the collar of his shirt and drops it in Associate’s lap.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(rests arms onopened window.)

Don’t fuckthis up, kid. That’s my goin’ out rifle.

A helicopter spies them from afar andcloses in. (From deep in the urban containment area, it couldn’t have beenlooking for anyone other than them.)

The sound of the blades is swordsagainst a mattress at a troubling decibel. (The guerrilla tactics are out thewindow; here we have a race against time and karma.)

Benifer waves his armed hand out thewindow and fires shots haphazardly. None of them do anything. (The helicopterhas so much artillery loaded upon it so much artillery loaded upon it so much artilleryloaded upon it so much artillery loaded upon it.)

ASSOCIATE

(lookingskyward.)

This is theworst thing that could possibly happen.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(scowlingmenacingly.)

If god existsthen he’s about to lose his fucking wager.

The truck weaves and skids through pilesof debris and burned out cars. (The warzone cockblocks them every secondsecond.)

They burst through an embankment oftwisted metal that shakes their cartilage loose. (Benifer spits out the window,steadily making an acrobat of their speeding paradox wagon.)

Benifer works the wheel like he’s tryingto part the sea. (The road itself is a stretched out broken line graph, pockedup by explosions and explosive shells.)

The helicopter opens fire. (Bullets thesize of athlete fingers tear up the world around them.)

Benifer does his best to predict thetrajectory of the bullets and swerves like he’s trying to win a swervingcontest. (He is kicking the gas, driven mad by ecstatic testosterone.)

The chopper flies in low, kicking up ahalo of filth beneath it. (The three executives immediately grieve over themissing windshield.)

It cuts ahead of them and hovers closeto the ground, aiming its weapons directly at them. (A gentleman’s duel in thecity where the devil saw its shadow.)

Benifer jackknifes the truck, grinds toa halt, and peers at it queerly. (He narrows his eyes like a cowboy drunk onsoundtracks.)

HELICOPTER

(through cracklyspeaksers.)

STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE AND SURRENDER YOURWEAPONS.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(through leftside of mouth, gravelled by unwashed teeth.)
That’s stupid. What an idiot.

HELICOPER

(script.)

HITLER MINNESOTA IS WILLING TO OFFER ANAUDIENCE IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(divorced fromthe demand.)

Why’s heyelling? I hate this guy.

ASSOCIATE

He wants us tosurrender so we can be eaten and fucked.

BENIFER MCFUCK

We call thatmarket segmentation and I ain’t aboutthat shit.

Benifer climbs out of the driver’s sideand scrambles to the top of the vehicle. (His white suit is wonderfullypristine.)

He raises his arms like in a poormockery of surrender. (Presenting himself to the world; defiant to the elementswith a spine fashioned from diamonds.)

HELICOPTER

(somewhatsurprised.)

EVERYONE ABANDON THE VEHICLE.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(carnivalbarker and lord of the dance.)

I AMAN ADULTEROUS JEWISH MAGICIAN. THIS IS WHY I FUCKED EVERYONE IN AFRICA.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

YEAH BUDDY!

Benifer takes a sloppy swing in thegeneral direction of the aircraft. (Overhand right to the rotors.)

The helicopter pitches to the side as ifbeing struck by a meteor. (Tackled by an invisible Gollum.)

Benifer uppercuts the air and kicks thedamaged craft into the air. (He’s hotdogging with the fabric of space, lettingloose a powerful pirate-noise from his belly.)

He brings his palms together,sandwiching the thing between his pearly palms. (He meditates on this actionbefore the grand finale, relishing his power and sipping on the moment.)

The helicopter crumples like a tomatoand explodes midair. (Compressed from all sides and struggling to react sensibly.)

A small battalion of acid robotsscuttles in from one of the side streets. (The seconds become minutes, thenseconds once more.)

Benifer hurries back into the truck and kicksit into gear, ploughing through the fiery wreckage. (It’s a smallish swarm;their recent decisions rose up the bravado of beacons.)

A hail of lasers pushes them onward.(The balls of energy shove them forward; the droids clamber across debris.)

ASSOCIATE

Just do thatfrom now on.

BENIFER MCFUCK

You gotta feelit in yer guts. The universe gives you an ulcer and you run with it.

ASSOCIATE

Make Hitler Minnesota’shead explode or something.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

Fuck that we’regonna go ’94 on his while routine.

ASSOCIATE

Lasers.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Protect yaneck.

2011-11-16T23:42:00.001-05:00

Case Study – Issue #38: Untitled.

Last Time on Case Study:
Три героя плавають через банк заповнився з мертвими організаціями. Вони знаходять потвору смокчуча енергія з трупу. Вони убивають це та зміну місьця. Є trapdoor у підлозі та вони гуляють вниз до секретного фундаменту.

INT. SecretBank Garage. Day.

ASSOCIATE, BENIFER MCFUCK, and DANNYSUNGLASSES reach the bottom of the staircase.

Laid before them is an expansiveunderground garage. (It is silent and lit from ceiling lamps.)

Concrete pillars act as obstacles forthe crisp, cooled air to navigate around. (It cleanses their lungs of the death funk.)

Danny and Benifer sketch a sloppy trailthrough a warehouse of safes, vehicles, and trailers. (Their footsteps echo like stunted thunderclaps.)

They approach a transport truck in thecentre of the room. (Encircling it is a ring of luxury automobiles.)

Benifer unlocks the door of the trailer,slides it up, and hoists himself up. (Danny leans up against the side and makes sure he is freshly pressed.)

Benifer lights a red flare and drops itnear the door. (It sounds like serpentine feedback.)

ASSOCIATE

(james deanin' it.)

You need to understand the position I’min. I’m over here assuming you’ve got a nuke in there. Just tell me right nowif that’s true or false.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

(looking humbly towards the heavens.)

That’d be cool. Times like this, yougotta nuke shit from orbit… Only way to be sure.

ASSOCIATE

(eyeing the farthest reaches.)

Does anyone else know this is here? Arewe cool to camp here for a minute and regroup?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

(removing a tiny vile of cocaine and unscrewing the lid.)

I don’t think they figured out how toget in through the garage door in the back. Fuckin’ robots can’t think likeassassins.

ASSOCIATE

(walk and talk.)

Okay cause hold on right there I gottago take a piss.

Associate walks around to the front ofthe bus and relieves himself. (A dumpy monkey lifts off his penis and he is born again.)

Danny assists Benifer in lowering acouple large trunks to the floor. (His guts get the electricity put to them.)

Associate returns and crouches downaround the removed documents and file folders. (He readjusts the crotch of his pants, rightly fearing that he didn't tend properly to his domain.)

ASSOCIATE

(illogicalinterest.)

What are we lookingat?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(closelyscanning lines of code.)

Looking forHitler Minnesota’s cell number.

ASSOCIATE

(dragging asheet closer and pretending to understand.)

How do youintend to do that?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(conversingpassively, grabbing more sheets.)

These are all…The, uh… Transmissions he sent to Venus, and somewhere in here he used his cellwhen talking to people about it. Never had time to go through it in detail… Wejust kind of threw it all in here and hid it with the rest.

ASSOCIATE

Just… Now, youand I know what that means, but for everyone else... Just explain what the fuckyou’re talking aboot.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(throwingpapers away, reading angrily for some reason.)

Those robotsout there, they were built by the agency. We signed a confidentiality agreementbut since we’re officially fired I don’t think they care.

ASSOCIATE

(placing papergently back on pile.)

Why?

BENIFER MCFUCK

Because wecould do more good out here, and we had to do most of our work off the books toprepare for this goddamn horrorshow.

ASSOCIATE

No, I meantthe robots.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(juggling the pressing and the unimpeachable.)
Yeahokay. We were the first ones to talk to the Venus people, and Spike Bosswanted us to broker a deal with them. We were gonna trade technology for... forimmigrants. They would send some of their people down to start a new life onEarth, for no other reason than, I assume, Venus is a hellhole.

ASSOCIATE

How is thateven possible?

DANNYSUNGLASSES

We didn’t getvery far with it… I don't know the steps exactly but I would think it involved ships. We had to scrap the whole project because Hitler Minnesotawas hacking into the signal. He was listening in and making records of everything wediscussed, and these are them… Among some other shit.

ASSOCIATE

So he stolethe robots?

BENIFER MCFUCK

(straight thuggin'.)

No, he hadthem make the robots, and then he stole them because he’s a fucking punk. They weredesigned to be used on Venus... Here, look… Right there…

ASSOCIATE

(campfirin'.)

What’s it say?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

It’s what Ithought… He’s basically laying out his whole scheme here like an idiot… He wastrying to establish his own colony on Venus, and these robots he had them make,they’re just a special skeleton that stabilizes an outer shell of constantly recyclingacid. So... he wanted a robot colony there. For what reason... Aw fuck it, I don't even care.

ASSOCIATE

What happenedthen?

BENIFER MCFUCK

Well we foundout what was going on – right around the he started his cleansing – therefugees were already starting to come into the building. He's such a fucking clownass we knew right away he was trying to get into out signal so when we shut it down he went crazier. We paid new people ashilling each to take it apart and reassemble it somewhere else where he wouldn’tfind it. They didn’t do it right and didn’t pick a good spot, so he ended upfixing it as best he could…

ASSOCIATE

So he got it working? Kind of?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

(sliding papers away, looking off somewhere insignificant.)
I guess he dicked around with it enough to do something right cause I keepseeing Venus monsters everywhere.

ASSOCIATE

Is that whatthose things were?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

Yeah… I didn’tknow about that until last night, that’s the first time I saw them. I don’tknow what he traded for them. We were getting some sweet energy-production schematics outof it… We never asked about weapons. And he's not the type of cat to ask for anything that doesn't explode or laser.

ASSOCIATE

I got… a lotto process here, but I gotta ask you how you got your hands on this.

Beat 1. Beat 2. Beat 3.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(thunderstruck._

… We fuckin’ stole it, man.

Benifer and Danny toss the papers back in the trunks. (They slam the doors shut powered by the knolwedge that "fuck trunks we don't need.")

Benifer one-punches the situation and lifts them back in the truck by his own damn self. (His strength is flirtatious and encroyable.)

Danny handles a phone that looks to be fashioned from seven other phones. (It either punches into a signal from the outside, or creates its own by skullfucking a satellite.)

Benifer kicks the flare onto the floor and shuts the door. (Associate dances around it and kicks it into a nearby Audi.)

Danny, referring to the paper in his hand, dials a number into the phone. (A rotating antenna obstructs his otherwise smooth movements.)

Benifer walks alongside the truck and climbs into the driver's seat. (He is leaning forward like a longshoreman.)

DANNY SUNGLASSES
Is this Minnesota?... Is he around?... Who is this?... Whatever, when you see him next, tell the three people he hates the most in the whole world are coming for him and we're gonna kill him something weird, and we're gonna do it so sick every punched boner in the world is gonna laugh and do a double take.

Danny hangs up the phone and smashes it on the floor like a disagreeable plate.

2011-11-11T20:07:00.001-05:00

Twitter Shotgun: Oct. 24 - Nov. 7

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. 30 Minutes Or Less. I don't think anyone who made this movie has love in their heart or warmth in their breath.
7 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"Most of the money I delicious whisky and food. I tell you about the cocaine nerf, and. I finally my mirror sex and hung up." #Chanoir
7 Nov

@TheRealSadistik Sadistik
I just bought my dog a Michael Vick jersey for Christmas. Seriously.
7 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Has everyone figured out what an incredible band @HARD_FI is yet?
7 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/VI8dUGqh
7 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I had a dream where a sentient tree stump warned me of the future. My house was haunted by the demon mother I never had.
7 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#ThingsICantLiveWithout Sorry I couldn't hear you cause I was SNAPPING INTO A SLIM JIM.
7 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. "Pussy" comes from the latin word "puscio" which means "to scream and pump one's arms."
7 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Conan (2011.) Everyone in the movie has paper skin and bones made of wishes. #PunchesExplodeFaces
6 Nov

@realjeffreyross Jeffrey Ross
I've had the fuckin sniffles since 1986.
6 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I like the part where everyone hates Klout now. socialmediatoday.com/node/384141?ut…
6 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#CanadianPorn I hope this trending topic is as witty and rewarding as #ThingsBlackPeopleSay and #RussianWhiteSlaveryStories.
5 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
It's Saturday night so I'm gonna have an argument on 4chan with my penis hanging out.
5 Nov

@MrsRupertPupkin lauren caltagirone
Right now, I'm the least pregnant I've ever been.
5 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#IveAlwaysWantedTo Eat a pizza in the shower. Some things are best left up to the eggheads on Parliament Hill.
5 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Apollo 18. The implication here is that rock monsters are just chilling on the moon trolling the Russians.
5 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY. pic.twitter.com/6GnItbRM
5 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Can someone explain Daniel Tosh to me? Like, why does anyone give a fuck? What does he do?
5 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#LiesThatAlwaysWorked The antidote is in my penis it won't work if you cut it off you need to suck it and enjoy it I can tell if you don't.
4 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I wanna say that @kenjeong - fucking doctor - is probably the coolest dude in comedy, up there with @RobRiggle, a fucking marine.
4 Nov

@taleenb taleen b
sucks to be you but you knew that already
4 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Dick Tracy. Not even Madonna can queer up this glorious, horrific, prosthetic masterpiece. #CoveredInCementAndDrowned.
4 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
My girlfriend bought me an iPod shuffle for the fuck of it. Your girlfriend sucks and there ain't nothing you can do about it.
4 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/0HfZlkRr
4 Nov

@cam_ore Camille Orellano
#coldcutmeats are bizarre but good on bread
4 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Would somebody just put a fucking bullet in the head of The Office already?
4 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Statistically, winter in Canada is the worst thing in the world.
4 Nov

@BoingBoing Boing Boing
Judge whose daughter released video of him beating her suspended from bench during judicial investigation goo.gl/4UuLe
3 Nov

@stephenfry Stephen Fry
Oh Jesus arsemothering fuck. I've left my wallet on the sodding plane. Hell's teeth this really isn't my day. Will not leave without it.
3 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
THIS IS TWEET NUMBER 1000. FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVE IN.
3 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@adrien_mar1 bit.ly/rvUAcM
3 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#2011musictaughtme the thin, semen coloured line between "omg" and "omfg."
3 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#GrandTheftAutoMemories Breaking all my bones in a motorcycle accident at 3 AM then eating five cheeseburgers.
3 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. 300. Part of me doesn't think this is historically accurate, but that part isn't my dick or fist. #IHaveAQuestion
3 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Throughout human history, the triangle has represented "no longer fucking around." #BBoyStance
3 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Bellflower. I didn't finish this movie because it's like watching a bike try to evolve.
2 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
By the way sorry about the late Case Study. I kind of want to retreat and rethink elements of the storytelling. Make it more bendable.
2 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"Somebody vomit down monsters next to me, and I surrounded by xxxxxx. I stood and pizza and yelled night. C'xxxxxxxx." #Inkie
2 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/Ko4OOUFO
2 Novs

@whitegrlproblem White Girl Problems
Winona Ryder is 40. #whitegirlproblems
1 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. The Earth isn't a perfect sphere, idiot. It's like kinda an oval. "Siri" that shit #AheadOfTheCurve
1 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage @TrevorNugent's small strange man penis.
1 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Bridesmaids. Why didn't she go with Jon Hamm? All he wanted was a car blowjob. He looks like a black and white photo.
1 Nov

@LOLGOP Pete Nicely
Mitt Romney Accidentally Calls for a Repeal of Mitt Romney
1 Nov

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
No updates today cause I am furious as hell.
31 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Have we been using cell phones long enough for those brain tumors to start sweeping the globe? I make a lot of long term bets.
30 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
See the rapper is like "I'm a G" and the klansman is all like "I'm a G-G-G-G-G-G-GHOST."
30 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I will spend today trying desperately to get into #SonsOfAnarchy.
30 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
This trending topics are all conjecture. "Justin is hot, paramore is the best band, twilight is my life." Retarded planets allign.
30 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. The Perfect Host. One twist at a time, people. You gotta give me time to get used to Niles cutting his chest in 8mm.
29 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Chewing gum causes gout. Everything else causes cancer. #HappyBirthday
29 Oct

@rainnwilson RainnWilson
What's with Europeans & their denim?
29 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#YouKnowWhatIHateTheMost When I spill rum all over my Seal Team 6 pogs.
29 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
OH SHIT I JUST LOST A FOLLOWER. DAMAGE CONTROL.
29 Oct

@MichaelPhelps Michael Phelps
Why do ppl steal things? Its such a joke....someone stole my glasses today....y? That's my only ?....that's it
27 Aug

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@Lucifelle This is Nick Rayner. This is my new Twitter. Come on now.
28 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Alright you syphiltic creeps, I'm gonna smash a photo essay into Twitter Weekly to make this sassy.
28 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. "The Milky Way" is a name thought up on a bet, and a kangaroo was the prize. #InternationalWaters
28 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Inland Empire. This seems like a really round-the-world way of telling the story of Laura Dern getting lost on a set.
28 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Everyone SHUT UP for a minute.
28 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
ATTN: Whoever invented Adobe Indesign. Nobody even likes you. Love, Tony Mewes
28 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Everyone cancels their appointments and I find there was an article in @wired about @danharmon and everything is goldjerry.
28 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#RejectedPeanutSpecials Your Parents Got A Divorce Because You Play Volleyball, Charlie Brown.
28 Oct

@Seanbabydotcom Seanbaby
This week on Cracked: Three romance gurus face off to destroy your genitals. cracked.com/blog/the-50-cr…
28 Oct Favorite

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Red State. This movie changes main characters so often I got hepatitis C. #FeelsGoodman
27 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY DAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Music only exists because sometimes math gets drunk. #TurnYourLanternsLow
27 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Pork chops, french fries, and a champagne glass of miso soup. #Untouchable
27 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#lessexcitingbandnames Decommissioned Zeppelin.
27 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@YarnIsland @khrismonegenege I can't find anybody else. I just googled screen names. I almost found Mete. Trail went cold.
27 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"AAAAAAH let's get high and go to the dump!" #ParadiseCity
27 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
TWITTER DAY OFF. Do a bloody mary in a women's washroom and I'll smash through the mirror and bleed to death on the floor!
26 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@YarnIsland EVENTSPIRE YOU GLORIOUS FUCKER. I was thinking about it cause I stole "Orange Square" for a thing I am doing.
25 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Hey remember when Metallica teamed with Lou Reed to record the sounds of a whale dying from sighs? #FuckinLuLu
25 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@YarnIsland I found the old Orange Square forum and the incredible shit talked about Farber. It's gotten funnier with time.
25 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Hausu. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this movie and you should watch it.
25 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#VegetableSongs "You're In A Coma And I Refinanced Your House" - Big Sick Feat. BB Lohan.
25 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DominicanProblems An alligator situation in the hammock library,
25 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"I myself resume engineering Vietnam to eat. yelled at me, and I ask to smoking in my apartment wearing leatherjacket she was dead." #Cope2
24 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I pulled my neck lifting too many weights and downloading music. I am going to get drunk on my own piss.
24 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#ONLYBLACKPEOPLESAY This is a delicious sandwich and also I'm black.
24 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Lawns only exist due to the inevitable fetishization of farmers. #WeirdedKafkaesque
24 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Conan O'Brien Can't Stop. Did Jack McBrayer almost stomp the shit out of a sorrowful millionaire?
24 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
That moment when you go up to your friend Bernate and say "Hi, Bernate" and Crazy Train starts to play.
24 Oct

2011-11-09T00:37:00.003-05:00

Case Study – Issue #37: The Memories AreSharp But The Tales Are Long (Such Sunglasses.)

Last Time on Case Study:
Три героя прибувають у банку. Є місце краху передніми дверями заповнилося з токсичною водою. Незвичайний гігант squid закликає ці води домашні. Навколо спини будинку є патруль кислотний роботи. Колега знаходить squid дух спорідненості та благає інший два у автомобіль. squid носить це до іншої сторони. Колега був у видатку той день.

EXT. Bank and Crater. Day.

ASSOCIATE,BENIFER MCFUCK, and DANNY SUNGLASSES land in front of thecrypt bank. (The car is not dropped quietly. Associate nearly smashes his head against the steering wheel. Benifer and Danny are quick to abandon the vehicle.)

They stick close to the ground and runtowards the door. (A foreboding wave of streampunkery approaches theirperimeters.)

The robots are coming closer. (Theycommunicate with each other. They are flanking from both sides.)

They open the doors and run in. They slamthe doors behind them. (The doors are sealed only by the compressed air lacedwith decay on the other side; an airlock.)

The doors are huge. (“When were thesedoors ever here? Are these new? This can’t be a commercial bank.)

INT. Bank Crypt. Day.

The ceilings are high, conjuringthoughts of a stadium. (Natural light alone lights the interior, cast through tall windows al throughout the place. It feels like a converted cathedral. Distant, modern columns give a sense of scale.)

There are thousands of dead bodies piledup like a landfill. (Their faces blend together and everything is in Earth tones. It looks like hell viewed from afar through a fingerprinted telescope.)

The reek nearly knocks them backward; a spittake is inevitable. (There is no way to escape the smell; it is wall taken the form of an assault.)

The floors are soaked in blood andmembranes and melted tissue.(The slurry soaks up into the cuffs of their pants. A butcher's shop has been turned upside down; every step is a concentrated abbatoir.)

Flies everywhere; rats and dogs andmaggots drone in a low hum. (Even the scavengers are cautious here. Too much horror stacked too high. The architecture of it could give at any minute.)

Associate, Benifer McFuck, and Danny Sunglassesshield their faces, not from discomfort but to avoid inhaling to death. (Their bodies react violently and they provately realize it will not get any better the deeper they go. Their brains scream at them, again privately, but to no avail.)

Everything within the crater isgrotesque. (A microcosm of suffering, digesting itself.)

They acid-reflux the situation; a noiseis heard. (Their ears are trained to the silence like eyes at night. A nervous-but-quick set of steps in succession not far from them.)

Danny draws a long pistol from hischange pocket. (There's no way he could have fit that in there.)

Atop one of the mountains of dead is abizarre, malformed creature.(It looks like a prisoner of war stumbling out of a surgery room.)

Roughly 5 feet tall, humanoid, no arms,black skin with gold highlights. Perfectly round head. (It waves back and forth like a metronome. These movements seem forced.)

No eyes or body hair. (A burn victim.)

A single mouth sits in the centre of itshead. There are no teeth. (It appears only to exhale.)

The monster steps quietly among therotting bodies. ("I can't see its feet.")

It crouches down low and begins suckinga luminescent blue mist from the upper torso of a mutilated woman.(The body reacts as if it is being tugged by fishing line.)

It inhales the strange energy and moveson. ("Oh shit oh shit oh shit.")

It jumps down to the floor. (What look to be bones move beneath the hardened flesh, but they all look pointed.)

Danny shoots it in the chest, punching aclean hole through it but releasing no bodily fluids. (It was like shooting a table.)

It crackles and convulses and collapsesto the ground to the sound of a pool. (It makes no sound. The gunshot echoes throughout the place despite the insulation of flesh alla round them.)

Thoughts are not triggered in Associate’shead. (Thoughts of robotos predators, however, begin to bubble.)

ASSOCIATE

What the AssJesus was that?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

(putting gun away impossibly.)
Goddamn monster. Getting in on the action.

ASSOCIATE

(stepping closer, studying beast.)

It looks likethose things I saw the other night in the hospital. What the fuck is going onhere?

BENIFER MCFUCK

(storming through.)

Questionslater, move the fuck on, I’m about to pass out, this is literally the worst.

Their cumulative assault on thenarrative is rushed. The fumes are getting to them. (Associate fights back vomit. Benifer has begun vomiting shamelessly.)

The oxygen is burdened by waste. (Eyes begin to water.)

They flail through swarms of flies. (The adventure has been reduced to a pinpoint; all that matters is the immediate assaulting of each and every sense.)

Associate slides on a discus of maggots,bracing himself against an opened neck.(He had noticed the shit and urine until that point. Of course; there had to be.)

Danny and Benifer are searching thefloor madly, kicking debris and entrails from their path. ("When's the last time I washed my hands?")

Benifer begins dragging a series ofbodies and Danny follows.(The fluid is not high there; a pile in their wake acted like a dam.)

Associate interprets their plan andassists. A shallow mound gives way to a bare floor, sticky and warm. (They end up tossing them away with a carelessness befitting alcoholics.)

Benifer unveils a shotgun from partsunknown and fires several buckshots into the floor.

The floor was, in fact, a door; atrapdoor leading into a secret basement.

Danny uses his body mass to pry the dooropen. (The tiles pop off and splash around him.)

A marble staircase flirts its way into complete and total darkness.

The three protagonists lower themselves into it and descend like it's cool.

2011-11-04T10:07:00.003-04:00

The Blink.
OKKPELIGRIUSBZZ%73888091654

I have spent the last long long long long time calling at the Earth from the surface of the moon. I was cawing and screaming into space. It did not work. I walked to the docking station but turned back around for what will be my last address before I come down to you. It has become important for me to keep my followers updated. It has become important for me a lot of things. My hours now are long and faaught with batt.e…….. i am a living circumstance that I will explain to you with pain. i havent written any poems on here lately I WILL CELEBRATE MY ARRIVAL WITH SONG. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHi

Because’t think the military understands how to deal with it. It is the effects of personal responsibility thethey look at the spiritual issuesy arthat feel strange and “crazy”. Perhaps the mosissues? How do they look at their t helpful thing Thee so far outside wtaking another life. How do people hat we would expect, these events provoke reactions issue, the after effects of killing — personal killing I can say here is that even though these reactions are unusual and disturbing, they are typical and expectable. By and large, these are normal responses to abnormal events.

— I believe isn’t understood. I donfor react to that? How do ? How do they look at the societal family values?

was so smart to write everything down. i witnessed some people claiming it was vanity. i forget things and the only way i can remember them is when i reread them. my days are long and faugght with battle. i plug myself in and readdress my history constantly. my fury was overwhelming, and now it is muffled by the electrical signals demanding the pain stop. those have subsided. i am now left with the soothing chill of death. i am swimming in death. i will never stop swimming in death. i am un stoppable.

im so popular someone else came up to see me. i punched him in the ribs and he said his name was solomon bundy. he was a doctor. i killed him in the neck and face with my hands. i spent some time tearing him in half in space because i wanted to see how it worked. he was terrified at the sight of me this warped and gnarled skull staring at him through a filthy space suit apparatus. he came looking fior whiskey skull and he said he knew it was me OF FUCKING COURSE IT WAS ME IM A FUCKING MONSTER IVE ALWAYS BEEN A MONSTER THERE AINT NOBODY FUCKING ELSE ON THE MOON. i remembered that i hate humans. i went back to my old house to review my papers. piles of papers i printed off, they were everywhere. now i remember. i remember what i came here to do. i HAVE HAD TO EDIT THIS tWENTY tIMES BECAUSE I KEEP SPITTING UP NUMBERS AND images. reading back the more i read the more i would use the word i.

i came here to be adored and spread misery i came here to love your civilization with lightning.

i shudder to think that the lightning is revenge but HAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2011-10-29T00:01:00.001-04:00

Twitter Weekly: Oct. 10 - Oct. 23

Special Shotgun Edition

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY. pic.twitter.com/becDmEeY
20 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Tragedy is god's way of telling you that he doesn't exist. #HoodMemories
20 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
If Joe Biden were an evil supergenius I could say he's just in his volcano fort biden his time. No, fuck YOU.
20 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Captain America. Remember that time in the 40's when white, black, French, and German people could be on the same team?
19 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#ThingsWeAllHate Butterflies at the racetrack.
19 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Black holes are fucking everywhere. #EnigmaDeath #SpaceIsTheWorst
19 Oct

@TrevorNugent Trevor Nugent
Found the link about the PR firm: bit.ly/pTyhOl" @milldollcuffs
18 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Phase 2 of Twitter Project is getting stale. Gotta get my fists in it and make it cooler. Gonna start with the Twitter Weekly posts on MDC.
19 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/VHfHJA20
19 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"His hat was until late at night I scream at mobile phones, my bed. I suffer from the ghost pain and I never went to sleep." #Kakos
18 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I hate young people who try to sound like antiques. I hate kids who say "salutations." I hate teenagers who say "methinks."
18 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Case Study is late because I was finishing up an advertising plan. #IWishICouldQuitYou
18 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY. pic.twitter.com/RXctPAxF
18 Oct

@BoingBoing Boing Boing
Adventures in self-publishing (fixed URL) boingboing.net/2011/10/17/adv…
17 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Dear Occupy Protesters: Stop having the branding and muddled outrage of Slipknot fans. #Maggots
17 Oct

@wired Wired
Dark Matter More Mysterious Than Ever - new info shows matter spread out smoothly rather than heaped into bulges - bit.ly/r0cT2f
17 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Hip Hop: The only genre where you can have a hot single about wanting to have a hot single.
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Wow #Futurama isn't nearly as cool or smart or funny as I remembered.
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
The hip hop guest spot has forever been soiled due to casual devil's advocacy #BecauseOfChrisBrown
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
It's not cool making jokes about beating Rihanna repeatedly in the face #BecauseOfChrisBrown
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#10twitterpeopleiwouldliketomeet Make shorter trending topics if you want me to fit 10 things you racists.
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
scp-wiki.net. This is where my weekend went. #DoctorClef #Chechens #TomatoHatesBadJokes
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. People who use the word "generation" earnestly are the least respected and admired people in the world.
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/CFcrUbu6
16 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@khrismonegenege Not abandoned. We kept it too real.
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
THIS WHISKEY IS HAVING NO EFFECT. UPGRADE TO GASOLINE AND ARACHNIDS.
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@khrismonegenege Orange Square.
15 Oct

@ebertchicago Roger Ebert
Steve Jobs' choice of alternative medicine may have speeded his death from a cancer that could have been curable. gaw.kr/ofeRZh
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY. pic.twitter.com/LBpx92Ar
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"It was a dirt, the wind was blowing. Last night I bent bare hands and steel ghost story; of my friends. bottle." #Olek
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. In dreams people never have any teeth.
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Mirrors. Horror movies shouldn't have origins. Keifer Sutherland sorts out old Nazi eye experiments on children. #Ass
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
If I had a million diollars I'd invest it all in morphsuits. The future is morphsuits.
15 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/anHHBYyc
14 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Million Dollar Cuffs will be pretty much Case Study updates for the immediate future. Maybe Evidence entries for what I'm busy with now.
14 Oct

@pattonoswalt Patton Oswalt
I shouldn't hear the chorus to Evanescence's "Bring Me To Life" when I speed-eat a tube of Pringles, but I do. I do.
14 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Julius Caesar invented 9/11. #Illuminati #TheNumber23
14 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Mortal Kombat. When I was a kid this was the greatest movie ever. Every kid is Armond White high on urine. #Figs
14 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"I a bottle of water at night drinking, and did not die. I fight Phil Ron. I am a test." #MissVan
14 Oct

@DemetriMartin Demetri Martin
The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. "Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons."
13 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@TrevorNugent Lifting weights and retweeting. #ShookOnesPart3
13 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
What's up with all the Justin Bieber and Hogwarts trending? This is Twitter. Keep it to race jokes and spanish nonsense, ya esoteric cunts.
13 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark. Has the ending of a movie ever phase-shifted you into breast cancer? #TaxWriteoffMovie
13 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. The necktie was invented to keep Daddy Long Legs hypnotized and funneled into the penis zone.
13 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#MoviesThatShouldntBeRemade A Serbian Film. Don't lose the magic. Don't lose the sauce.
13 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY. pic.twitter.com/AAUy7rNL
12 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. Paradise Lost. "I don't know why people hate the south. They should hate these inexplicable satan worshipping magicians."
12 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. The rings on a tree are actually records of how many dreams its had. #Inception
12 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I go into work dressed as Che Guevera at a company that sells your children's names to scary governments. #LookAtMeNow #Makesmelaugh
12 Oct

@BoingBoing Boing Boing
Cranky and eloquent Google engineer's rant about what's wrong with Google+ (bonus: and Amazon) goo.gl/XedH2
12 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/WD18Bs8s
11 Oct

@TrevorNugent Trevor Nugent
y'all can't just rewrite history y'all y'all y'all www2.macleans.ca/2011/10/11/dam…
11 Oct

@Nick Rayner
milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Hall Pass. Nobody I know likes this movie and if you like it I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW YOU. #OwenWilsonMismanagement
11 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY - #FACTOFTHEDAY: Scarves are used as weapons in the Philippines.
11 Oct

@MacLethal666 Uncle Mac Lethal
I vote Bill Clinton for president in 2012. His vice president... Bill fuckin Murray.
11 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I love how the season finale of #BreakingBad had a spoiler pun as the title. #FaceOff #FixYoTieYaDeadAsshole
10 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY. pic.twitter.com/gHmT4vOI
10 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW. The Tree Of Life. A prank played on Sean Penn became a script imagining how his ramshackle brain would process it.
10 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"And I got drunk in the citadel pyloned whiskey and friend's car. And then we broke into the house unfinished business." #BlekLeRat
10 Oct

2011-10-25T23:37:00.001-04:00

Case Study – Issue #36: Now He’s BecomeEverything That You Hate (Revenge Is A Dish.)

Last Time on Case Study
Динозавр був відсутній, мисливство з каркасу де-небудь. Тріщина своєчасно та космос мав героїв reliving бесіда, unxxxxx змін до того самого кінця. Вони обговорили рекламування та trauam як світову тріщину та flurried навколо них.

EXT. BankCrater. Day.

ASSOCIATE, DANNY SUNGLASSES, BENIFERMCFUCK, and QUIZZICAL VELOCIRAPTOR are standingbefore the reappropriated bank in downtown Tronno. An artillery-generated crater,acting as a lake born of war, separates them from the front entrance. The afterbirth of a great explosion still hangs in the air. The hole isfilled nearly to the top with filthy water, debris, and dead things. A wretched mist hugs to the surface. Beneaththe water line, still and cloudy as it was, they could see the movements of alarge creature. Without speaking, a consensus of fuck thatery is reached, andthey prowl along the side to find another entrance. Danny spearheads the stealth.

The reek of death strikes malaisialcords within each of them, but only Associate shields his face. Benifer McFuckis content to loudly repress his vomit and make it everyone else’s problem. Afew moments pass before Danny Sunglasses pointedly gestures them back anddownward. Patrolling the exterior of the bank are droids dripping with toxicsubstances. Humanoid and rigidly geometric, they glow yellow and smoke noxiousthings from each crevice. A group of five is visible by the farthest corner,each one gripping an automatic rifle of otherworldly design. Without speaking,they double back with tense ankles to the crater pool. Danny andBenifer fix their eyes on imaginary invasion points, visually securing thearea. Benifer is drawn to the water.

(“A freshconundrum to shackle my brain.”)

WHITESNAKESKIN SUIT, WHITE GLOVES, THREE BLACK MOHAWKS, SEX TATTOO ON FACE.

There’s gottabe like every form of carcinogen swimming in that water.

(“Move your hairyou pansexual sphinx.”)

GREY SUIT,GREEN BOWTIE, GELLED HAIR WITH SHARP BITS OF PLASTIC WOVEN IN TIED IN APONYTAIL, BIG DARK SUNGLASSES.

If we tanglewith those robots we’ll get the shit melted and killed out of us. Who can swim?

(“Man eatingshadows.”)

BLACK SUIT,RED TIE, WHITE SHIRT, GENERAL FILTH AND STINK.

There’s amonster in there. We all saw it. And its bubbling. Either way we’re gettingdisintegrated.

DANNYSUNGLASSES
We have a McManus’ Dirge on ourhands, gentlemen. No two ways about it.

The activity beneath the water gathersto a single point and rises up, throwing the serenity away like violentlyparting lips. A quirky column is before them: a crooked purple squid standstall, whipping its tentacles into waves that form before their impact. Allalong its body, running up and down its sides like tracks, are bright blackhearts. Associate reaches for his gun.

BENIFER MCFUCK

I know, right?

The thing doesn’t attack them. Rather,it waves back and forth, twisting to identify them with independent eyes. Oneof the tentacles encircling its beak, submerged beneath the cancer water, yawnsinto the open and deposits a smashed and decontaminated robot at within their proximity.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

I’m a fan of arobot eater I am.

ASSOCIATE

It’s like… abattle of cancers.

BENIFER MCFUCK

We’ve made a bestfriend today.

("xxxx xx xx?")

SLEEK, COVERED IN RED AND GREEN FEATHERS.

*joyous bark.*

Associate has already put his mind toinvestigating a nearby spoiled sedan, reaching through the smashed windshieldand feeling around for keys. The others are drawn to the spectacle.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(sitcom hands.)
Fuck is this?

ASSOCIATE

(patting beneath the wheel.)

Maybe if weget in here that thing can bring us over to the other side.

BENIFER MCFUCK

We might alsobe grossly exaggerating a murdered robot as a symbol of allegiance.

ASSOCIATE

(bringing another hand into play.)

We might speakthe same language: the language of “FuckHitler Minnesota.”

DANNYSUNGLASSES

It’s likejazz.

Associate climbs into the car throughthe burst window, falling into the driver’s seat and searching for the keys.

ASSOCIATE

Does anyoneknow how to hotwire a car?

BENIFER MCFUCK

Nobody knows how to do that.

ASSOCIATE

It’s just… youtouch some wires together or jam a screwdriver in it or something.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

I’ve neveractually known anyone who can do that.

ASSOCIATE

You’re bothfucked in the head; you’re supposed to have experience with this. People likeme lease shit. If it doesn’t work you call someone in India and they usesatellites.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

Maybe the Velociraptorknows.

They all look to Quizzical Velociraptorwith hope in their eyes. It is crouched low on the ground, staring intently ata smashed bottle glistening in the sun.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Him and me, it’slike a broken line graph.

Associate bends intothe backseat and gives it a cursory inspection.

ASSOCIATE

(pushed back by paralyzing contemplation.)

There’s nokeys. We can’t move it any closer. You think it can reach?

BENIFER MCFUCK

I don’t care.

Associate blasts thehorn. Three long, angry wails. The squid bobs over to the edge of the crater and swings its leading tentacleshigh in the air.

ASSSOCIATE

(harshly.)

You wanna getin or you wanna suck?

Benifer and Dannyclimb into the back seat through the windowless frame. The thick, oily, taloned whips slap againstthe car and drag it to the edge of the crater.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(adjusting sunglasses.)
Wait why are we doing this?

ASSOCIATE

Cause it’s gothearts on it, man. I think I tapped into the language of the universe. Allsigns point to ally. We’re all on the same page here.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(weightless.)

God damn it webroke him.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

This would bethe worst way to die.

ASSOCIATE

Shut up, I’mdriving now.

The car is lifted high into the air.They hover over the waters, bracing themselves against their seats.

BENIFER MCFUCK

I’m apunchline guy, I’ve done too much cool shit to die like this.

ASSOCIATE

(elated.)

I can’texplain how happy I am that you’re terrified.

Associate rests his arm in the window frame.

Word.

2011-10-19T00:29:00.003-04:00

Case Study – Issue #35: Turn Your Lanterns Low (ThePrice Is A Halo.)

Last Time on Case Study
Колега є у майбутнім та зустрічає уряд агент називає Jxxx X. У подарунку, Колега обговорює ідеологію з Dxxxx Sxxxxxxxxx, хто вірить потребам людства охопити актуальність вижити. Є важкий mxxxxx.

EXT. Fiasco Streets. Night.

A pack of stray dogs walks by the hospital carryinga giant tortoise on their backs. They stare at ASSOCIATE through the carnagedwindows. Their heads sit on a separate layer form their bodies, hoveringsteadily on extraordinary tracks. Associate is entranced by a new thing everyfew minutes. He is overcome with dread and melancholy.

(We had this theory that she got us to train youand that was, in effect, training us.)

(That sounds fucking stupid.)

(Yeah, well. You talk too much. You gotta learn toroll with the punches.)

(And what about you?)

(I think she wants us to believe in something and so she put us with you. Butwhat the fuck does she know. If she was so smart then why’s she always gettingfucked with?)

(I just want to go home.)

INT. Hospital Lobby. Night.

A cold meat locker has melted into the closestwall, joined by prisms of incandescent light. The collision had cooled longago, the present area some fashion of crucible from a previous life. Flickeringto their backs is a meadow split into tiers. A giant anaconda weaves betweenthe legs of a torturing table. Out in the distance, magnified by perplexingmist, the predatory creatures float slowly into the sky. The sky itself ispunctured by flaming enigmas, reaching down, orbited by clouds that inspireperverse imagination.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(the ground writhing beneathhim.)

I fucked your wife.

ASSOCIATE

(spinning coin on the floor.)

She was born being fucked by you.It’s prenevitable.

BENIFER MCFUCK

I was born with my penis insideof everything that was being born.

ASSOCIATE

(gritting teeth.)

You’re… such a fucker.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

(barging in.)

What did you learn when she sentyou down to the bottom?

ASSOCIATE

I didn’t learn anything.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

Did you change at all?

ASSOCIATE

No. I killed some people and sawsome people die. And then a bunch of shit I didn’t try to understand. Nomads Idon’t care about. Portal and Hair Man, I don’t care. I don’t know what I’msupposed to do with this information.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

How did that not change you?

ASSOCIATE

I don’t know… You just sort ofreact to the people around you. You react like you’re told how to react.Otherwise you’re a… mmmonster.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

What do you mean?

ASSOCIATE

Just… a person dies in your arms,and you’re shaking, and you don’t understand it, and you order people to help… Butthen you just keep going. Nobody around me cared like I thought they would, soI was allowed to not care, either.

Beat 1 Beat 2 Beat 3.

ASSOCIATE
I didn’t do many drugs in my day.I did one though, it was salvia.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

I don’t get out of bed without amouthful of salvia and five thousand dollars.

ASSOCIATE

I did too much and the trip wasreally bad. I didn’t feel myself going into it, I was just there suddenly. AndI had the overwhelming sensation that… this is how it’s always been. I’vefallen out of the universe and something’s been revealed, and I’m seeing behindthe scenes.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

Yeah.

ASSOCIATE

And that’s how you feel after awhile. You kill someone or there’s some sort of trauma… And this is how it’salways been. You’re just aware of something now. And everything you were evertold… The stories, the advertising, that’s just wishful thinking. This wholetime I’ve been trying to sell happiness to people I thought understoodhappiness, but it’s people who want happiness because they don’t understand it.When I was a kid I’d watch movies where nerds get the girl, but those movieswere written by nerds who wanted to get the girl. Nothing we’ve everbeen taught is how it actually is. But… that’s how it’s always been… Right?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

She did good. We gotta dosomething about those bones before you go any further.

ASSOCIATE

You can’t do shit with my bones.

Beat 1.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

I'm told talking makes it better. I never agreed with this.

ASSOCIATE

Repeating makes it better. In myexperience the best way to deal with things you hate is to repeat yourself.

DANNY SUNGLASSES
Out in the wild, someone told me that the more out of control you get, thebetter you dress.

ASSOCIATE

More information I can’t doanything with.

A low whistling creeps into the room and disappearsinto the belly of the hospital. The point remains held.

ASSOCIATE

What’s going on around us rightnow? How did we get here?

BENIFER MCFUCK

Think hard about it.

(The best of us know that we should be better. Youcan’t go home; death stole it from you. Your home is death.)

(I don’t want to die.)

(I never said you had to. You just need to liveinside of it.)

2011-10-12T20:40:00.001-04:00

Twitter Weekly: Sep. 27 - Oct. 9

Special Shotgun Edition

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
It's thanksgiving in Canada and I am definately working on a Case Study for my douchy people.
9 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: The Missing Person. I like the part where Michael Shannon walks around not giving a fuck and making money. #Orwellian
9 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY - Ukraine leads the world in advanced cockfighting technology. #ThinkDifferent
9 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/r8sjBpc8
9 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#YouGottaBeKiddingIf You're walking down the street and you sound like throbbing bass. #YouAreTheClubYouCantHandleYourselfWeirdo
8 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Killer Elite. The first movie written by, and starring, postpartum depression. #RobertDeNiroJustHappyToBeThere
8 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
One million dollars to the person who can find a swarm of lady bugs resting in a ceiling.
8 Oct

@wired Wired
Rise of the Machines: Why we keep coming back to H.G. Wells' visions of a dystopian future. bit.ly/p6YWsp
8 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. White people believe zombies are happening right now. #28BigLebowskisLater
8 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/wFdHfYlc
8 Oct

@MacLethal666 Uncle Mac Lethal
I wish I heard The Wilhelm Scream every time I came during sex.
8 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@cfirth29 That was my slut-acornish way of extending my hand in a twitter friendship.
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@cfirth29 Your hotmail name can't outfox me.
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
I am greatly enjoying watching Michael Shannon slowly become the best actor in the world.
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY. Semen is made out of the stuff your blood can't use. Sidebar: every baby is an abomination. #SteveJobs
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@TrevorNugent: I don't know who talked me out of bringing whiskey and chicken chips to the #WorldBusinessForum but fuck them.
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/MHogkeZy
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Glengarry Glen Ross. "Fuck you. FUCK you. FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" #ClashOfKings
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"Argentina is the man spoke too quikcly marshmallow brain. The printer and alarm clock." #Cartrain
6 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@TrevorNugent I read it all over the place. Either that or he's maxin' all cool with Tupac and Osama in a fucking submarine somewhere.
5 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/zrz8fjz9
5 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Even though I hate Mac computers, I dig the hell out of Apple products, and Steve Jobs never gave a fuck; you would eventually agree.
5 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#puttwowordstogethermakeaninsult Slut Acorn.
5 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Creation. If Charles Darwin was so fucking smart why did his daughter die and haunt the shit out of him? #Evolution
5 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY - A solar flare is what happens when @Tip astral projects. #WhatYouKnowAboutThat
5 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Going to attend the World Business Forum, skyped into a movie theatre, this Thursday. I'll be the one sucking back hardboiled eggs.
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@missmelbies It's been. Literally. YEARS.
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
New Case Study will be up tonight.
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/GPF0Dc0J
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Greatest Movie Ever Sold. For such a cool concept he really does fuck all with it and looks miserable the whole time.
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#YouNeedToRealize THIS BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!!!
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY- The average human male can only eat 30 dogs before he works the room in his dad's shirts. #CoffeeChurch
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"playing music radio stations. If somebody to dial to call again, and I told them to hell, while the bankrupt in." #Posterchild
4 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/HF3VA3BN
3 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Jurassic Park. Everyone in this movie is scared, an asshole, or eating fistfuls of jello. #Dinosaur90s
3 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY - Red wine has been linked to baby obesity, and increasingly, wife explosions. #Avatar
3 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@TrevorNugent likes to go to market with a hole in his pocket and a pocket full of bugs so if you ever see him he is masturbating with bugs.
2 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/vOIjFuNF
2 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
@Morril DEAL WITH IT.
2 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Fast Five. It seems like The Rock really wants to grapple this into a film noir but nobody will let him. #NoCarChases.
2 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#ThingsThatGetMePissed When I pull off a nothin' but net but nobody says nothin' but net what the fuck do you think just happened, ya DRUNK?
2 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #FACTOFTHEDAY: If you stretch a human tongue out it can circle the world seven times. #LargeHadronCollider
2 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"It was cold and rain, and the suffering from a secret. I advertising campaign. This is your life." #MrBrainwash
2 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: #IMAGEOFTHEDAY pic.twitter.com/1iUT2aEE
1 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#WhatYouShouldKnowAboutMe I licked a poltergeist. ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!
1 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
The death of one is a tragedy, the death of #13millionbelievers is a statistic.
1 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"I have a friend, but I mustache within a specific girlfriend owns the ball and feed them cabal the ghosts." #NeckFace
1 Oct

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
#DAILYMOVIEREVIEW: Transformers 3. Can't imagine how many kids had to be ransomed to get so many fine actors doing nothing of concequence.
1 Oct

@moot moot
8 years of 4chan. The things my eyes have seen.
30 Sep

@TPM Talking Points Memo
The story nobody in American politics is talking about: tpm.ly/r5lvrG
30 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: IMAGE OF THE DAY. pic.twitter.com/mi6h57kN
30 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: FACT OF THE DAY - Lice multiply at an alarming rate when you are laying in a coffin. #VaginaOClock
30 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
DAILY MOVIE REVIEW - Insidious. Darth Maul hijacks your kid's mind from a Tim Burton workshop. #SuperheroMovie #Insidious
30 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"I work on many feast and Chinese food. Several plot against me, and western societies." #ToynbeeTiles
30 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Do some rails and smash the bones #UnderTheMistletoe
30 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY: IMAGE OF THE DAY pic.twitter.com/VELjH4Ng
29 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"Barack Obama was an inside job." #fightingwords #morelikeGOOSEchange
29 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"Last night watching two movies and pain and. I attended the business shredded the fantastic proposals." #Invader
29 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY - FACT OF THE DAY: A human being can only count up to 30,000 before they start shaking and become morose. #Dandy
29 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
DAILY MOVIE REVIEW - Drive. All my favourite soundtracks called, they had a circle jerk with a comatose Ryan Gosling and didn't invite me.
29 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY - FACT OF THE DAY: You and I will never love anything as much as George Lucas hates Star Wars. #Facts #Kosher
28 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
DAILY MOVIE REVIEW - Melancholia. Don't see this movie if you hate Kirsten Dunst's tits and everyone dying at the end. #UhOhSpaghettiOs
28 Sep

@sexyfacts4u sexyfacts4u
Loving every republican TV pundit all over Chris Christie's fat freshness trying to get a job in his imaginary campaign.
28 Sep

@ebertchicago Roger Ebert
"A long line of liars, adulterers, sadists, slaves, wife beaters, rapists, and murderers who made Hollywood great." nytimes.com/2011/09/25/mov…
28 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
Happy Birthday Lil Wayne. I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this, but nobody here even likes you.
27 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY - IMAGE OF THE DAY. pic.twitter.com/rumqTeya
27 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner

#LawsMenShouldFollow Treat your girl like you would your mother. #Ignore #DontFuck #AskForMoney #LieAboutYourDay
27 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
"Mike XXX here in which no one shit about him. Today, we had learned all that, how to live for the newspaper ads. The press buttons." #Blu
27 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
DAILY MOVIE REVIEW: Paranormal Activity 2. A stupid shit movie for stupid shit people. #PleaseTellAFuckingStory
27 Sep

@milldollcuffs Nick Rayner
BELAY SAY - FACT OF THE DAY: Twitter overuse is linked to cosmic radiation in men and tectonic shifts in women. #CheckTheFootnotes
27 Sep

2011-10-10T22:05:00.004-04:00

Case Study - Issue #34: Give Your Flesh To A Legend (Bring Me My Coat.)

Last Time on Case Study
Вони знаходять деякого ципля поховане у бруді. Колега збирається Monroe Mcscythe у лікарні вони camping. Він бере фотографії трупу та disrepair. З'єднайте засвідчує дальніх потвор полюючі їм, чіпляючись щоб стріляє.

INT.Interrogation room. Day.

ASSOCIATE sits in a rigid metal chair,his hands cuffed behind his back. This is a place from the fetishizedimagination of a degenerate butcher. He is seated before a stainless steeltable with a rotary dial telephone in the centre, yellowed from neglect. Hisface is bruised and bloody, and his suit is filthy. He looks like he has beenslept in as well as an abattoir. The room is dimly lit. The door opposite himcreaks open; in steps JEAN K, a Caucasian Quebecois man in his early 60’s. Hissuit is much nicer. His suit looks like it was just purchased.

JEAN K

(resting likea feather.)

My name isJean K. Do you know why you’re here?

ASSOCIATE

(staring attable.)

Are you goingto kill me?

JEAN K

(placing adossier on the table.)

So you don’t know why you’re here.

ASSOCIATE

(sneer.)

Is it becauseof my Prophet Project? Cause that’s all anyone wants to talk to me aboutanymore.

JEAN K

(openingdossier.)

No… We knowall about that. You didn’t have a large role in what it became, in any case.

ASSOCIATE

Thanks.

Jean K checks the cellphone holstered tohis belt. It is flashing irregularly.

JEAN K

(leafingthrough pages, examining images.)

We have yourassociates, Benifer McFuck and Danny Sunglasses.

ASSOCIATE

(secret agentlife.)

I find thatextraordinary.

JEAN K

(engagingeyes.)

If you agreeto talk to me, and promise to be civil, I can remove your restraints.

ASSOCIATE

I can’t movethat much. Your guys beat the shit out of me. Someone told them I was inadvertising. They told me this… They thought I should know. Now you know this.

JEAN K

(closingdossier folder.)

They don’thold your vocation in high regard.

ASSOCIATE

This righthere’s a lot of conservative bullshit.

JEAN K

(think-inhalingthrough nose, leaning back in chair.)

I find thatinteresting, because it seems to me that any other party holding a majorityleadership would impose restrictions upon your industry. I feel like you shouldknow this.

ASSOCIATE

I find itinteresting that you let me derail this conversation. Want to talk Spiderman? This is now a Spiderman conversation.

JEAN K

I’d like totalk about the work you did in Tronno, Hauntario. After the incident withHitler Minnesota. Do you remember that?

ASSOCIATE

I remember Spiderman... Gettin' in that ass.

Jean K sits silently for a few moments. Associate shakes his head.

ASSOCIATE

It seems to methat you should know everything about that because we didn’t hideanything. We’re all about honesty. You’rewith the government and you should know everything anyway. This was all above board. Can I get somewater?

JEAN K

I can’tpromise that if I get water it willarrive as water. Do you understand why?

ASSOCIATE

I don’tunderstand anything right now. I don’t remember how I got here. I don’t knowwhat this is about. I don’t know why people are beating me up. What did you doto me?

JEAN K

This room is asafe place. We have an algorithm of baritones isolating us from the rest of theworld. It's untouchable. You can think clearly in here, so I need you to do that for me rightnow.

ASSOCIATE

(drunk on hopelessness.)

I’m… parched.

JEAN K

Time is of theessence, so if I get you something to drink and you do not want to cooperate,then the situation will escalate. Do you understand?

ASSOCIATE

Good stuff.

JEAN K

I’ll be backin a moment.

Jean K opens the door to the hallway. Awhite horse walks by with a Roman centurion melted into its side. Associate staresat it until the door shuts with the sound of strange suction.

INT. HospitalLobby. Night.

There is a constellation of desperatefired this night in Tronno. In the distance, tall, tribal fires are encircledby grotesque silhouettes. In the hospital, a much more humble fire is tended byAssociate, BENIFER MCFUCK, and DANNY SUNGLASSES, now simply cleaning theirtools to busy their hands. Danny Sunglasses palms a dimebag from his pocket,opens it up, and takes a couple bumps of cocaine. He flexes his fingers for aminute

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(sharpening hunting knife against shrapnel.)

They said thatI was the baddest motherfucker in Argentina. I could sit anywhere and nobodywould look at me. I’d sit for hours and be hot in the sun, just letting thesweat spill out. One day I was sitting on someone’s porch and I was watchingthese ants on the ground. I saw one tiny ant dragging a huge dead moth. Anotherant went to help it, but then it went away. I don’t know what they werethinking, but maybe that one ant was like “it’s cool, I got this...” They serveda single purpose. Altogether they had the same interests in mind.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(counting bullets for no reason in particular.)

Ants, man.

DANNYSUNGLASSES

(sniffe hard through nostril, swallows.)

And then youthink, it’s like the communists,cause that’s what communism was about. That’s what all these dictatorships are about, all these people working for thesame thing with no real individual gain… But we also act regionally, and we don’tlike to think of the entire race, because we don’t like most of our species. Wedon’t like most people, so it’s not even tribalism at that point… And we have too many differences. And webelieve in heroes.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(knocking bullts onto sides.)

Jailbait…

DANNYSUNGLASSES

In realityhuman beings, to the ants, are like giant Satans stomping around. Maybe that’swhat they’re thinking. “We need to survive because these fuckers can spit on uswith their nicotine-and-cum saliva and kill us all. AT the end of it, they haveus to galvanize them to drag those moths into the hole and keep digging. Theyhave that… urgency. Nobody in this whole fucking city, this whole world fromwhere I’ve been, lives with any urgency. You only see it when they’re living inwarzones, but that’s not even the right kind. We have giant Satans around us,out in space and hiding underground, but we don’t address them like we should.We got complacent. We stoppedunderstanding how everything can go wrong, and how easy it would be for theuniverse to swallow us… I’ve seen it, though. They made me understand. She wantedthe both of us to understand. Now you’ll understand.

ASSOCIATE

You're a magic Jewish assassin but you still think like an advertiser.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

It's wrestling corruption. To provide options... To people engulfed by self realization.

BENIFER MCFUCK

(gathering bullets in a pile.)

Can't have science.

DANNY SUNGLASSES
Can't save the world with science. People are fucking stupid... Use a large hadron collider to make fake tits out of fugue states.

BENIFER MCFUCK

I'd rather... You know...

DANNY SUNGLASSES

I'd rather be around people who hate life than people who love it for the wrong reasons.

ASSOCIATE

(staring out window across the room.)

Is that why you had to watch a man eat babies on the ocean?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

If a tree falls. In a forest, you know?

Word.

2011-10-04T14:35:00.001-04:00

Case Study – Issue #33:Waiting With A Gun And A Pack Of Sandwiches (Moving Pictures.)

Last Time on Case Study
Ми досліджуємо паралель timelines що є весь повністю дійсний у майбутнім що гоститься себе у минулий. Нова Зеландія була убита динозавром. Вони знаходять труп дами з яйцем на їй плече, та їхні мисливець поїхали попереду них завдяки їхньому часу у корейських тунелях парадоксу.

EXT. Liquor store parking lot. Day.

ASSOCIATE, BENIFERMCFUCK, and DANNY SUNGLASSES are leaving a liquor store, Associate carrying apaper-bagged bottle of whiskey in his hands. Across the parking lot are twobarricaded restaurants, between them a massive pile of dirt. Construction equipmentis scattered around the pile; cars fly past behind it. Danny stops.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

(cocking head, absorbing atmosphere.)
Wait, wait… You smell that?

BENIFER MCFUCK

(narrowing eyes.)

Yeah… smells like chicken and fries…

ASSOCIATE

Smells like some goddamn SwissChalet!

DANNY SUNGLASSES

(pointing O.S.)

Over there!

The three of them runover to the dirt pile; Associate places the alcohol on the ground and gesturesto a collection of shovels by the exterior wall of the restaurant.

BENIFER MCFUCK

Let’s get to it, boys.

They each grab ashovel, jump onto the pile, and begin digging. They dig without plan or exit strategy. They dig like crazed pirate, throwing soil anddebris over their shoulders, frantically excavating the mysterious rotisserie cache. Associate is the first and only to strike paydirt. He throws his shovel to theground like alive grenade.

ASSOCIATE

(waving over.)

Boys! Over here!

Benifer and Danny runover and stare down into the nigh-Mayan temple. A plastic container containingchicken, fries, and a bun is peeking out of the dirt. The smell tickles their faces.

ASSOCIATE

(on some “this is Sparta” shit.)

Quarter chicken dinner!

BENIFER MCFUCK

This is how heroes are made.

INT. Hospital Entrance. Night.

Associate, BeniferMcFuck, Danny Sunglasses, and Quizzical Velociraptor are tending a fire in themain triage of holocauspital. The floors are layered with dirt, burnedremnants, and bits of glass. There are some severed limbs and discardedhospital equipment. The smoke from the fire drifts harmlessly throughblast-damaged window frames. Caustic particles of destroyed life hang in theair. A woman screams in the distance. Engines roar to life.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

They’re hunting humans out there.

ASSOCIATE

There’s so many people dead. There were millions of people here… Whathappened?

DANNY SUNGLASSES

A lot were killed. Most of them close to the edge probably ran. Some ofthem stayed behind to do the hunting, I reckon.

ASSOCIATE

I don’t even notice the corpses anymore. They’re just everywhere… Rightover there, I can see… Fifteen? At least fifteen… You don’t ever get that inthe first world…

BENIFER MCFUCK

I’ve been around the world… You see this all over. Just violencesprayed all over hills and houses. Filth… We escaped the filth here. But thenit found us.It was unnatural to live without it. It burst the fuckin' dam.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

I don't know about that.

BENIFER MCFUCK

You don;t even know what you're talking about.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

You see a few fuckin' slums and you think everything is damned or secretly damned. That's small thought. Get some big thought.

Beat 1. Beat 2. Beat 1.

ASSOCIATE

Where is Hitler Minnesota from?

BENIFER MCFUCK

Where is he from? I don’tfucking know. Here, probably. Neverbothered to look into it.

ASSOCIATE

Kay… I don’t actually care.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

Good stuff.

Associate stands up andwanders over to an empty window. He watches a pack of stray dogs, flickeredinto view by their increasingly outrageous flames, stalk close to the shadows,disappearing down the road. Tiny settlements of broken glass – bottles andwindows and technology – glisten close to their savage lamp. The fauna controlthe city from dusk onward.

Associate steps awayfrom the window and inspects the pistol in his hand. He meanders over to thehallway leading deeper into the hospital and sets off for a quest.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

Where you going?

ASSOCIATE

Lookin’ to die.

INT. Hospital Stomach. Night.

Deeperinto the recessed fathoms of the hospital is a walk into a rendering machine,clowned up. Presented by the moon at its apex, the floor is table to a feast ofsuffering and humanity redefined as trash. There’s a wheelchair with a severedhead sitting in it. Clothes are kicked into crevices. A burned and opened womanis lying on a hospital bed, a medical curiosity depicting the frozen finalgestures of inconceivable pain. The smell of it is long gone; regardless, hecovers his mouth with his jacket.

Astep too close; a murder of crows scatter away down the hallway, having beenpecking at the ribcage of an exploded child. His or her remains create a roughring around an explosive impact point, small and bunched. On the opposite wall,a man has been fixed to it with thirty knives. At his feet sits a bloodysledgehammer. Associate kicks it away. He tests destiny with his mostinappropriate finger.

Fromout of one of the rooms further down the hall steps a man wearing a black suit.Black pants and jacket, black shirt, black tie. They have the sheen of beingcovered in grease, but that would be impossible. This man has a Nikon camera inone hand and a flashlight in the other. Associate tracks him as he walks overto a corpse on the ground and takes a photograph. The flash fills the room and momentarilyblinds him. Associate recovers and aims his weapon.

ASSOCIATE

Hey! Excuse me!

MAN

(unamused.)

Yes? Hello?

ASSOCIATE

Who are you! What are you doing! Let me see your hands!

MONROE MCSCYTHE

(lifting up flashlight and camera.)

My name is Monroe McScythe. You can lower your gun.

ASSOCIATE

(simmering.)

I’m just a little worried about meeting new people.People who are taking pictures of dead bodies where no sane people should be.

MONROE MCSCYTHE
Why are you here?

ASSOCIATE
(laughing.)
See, I thought you'd ask me that, and here's one for you: I'm out of my fucking mind.

MONROE MCSCYTHE

(moving flashlight all over associate's face and chest.)

It’s nothing nefarious. It’s research. It's photographs. It's a camera and a flashlight. You’re clearlyunequipped to participate in this situation right now. Just go back to yourfriends.

ASSOCIATE
(blocking light with free hand.)

How do you know about them? Have you been following us?

MONROE MCSCYTHE

(playfully dismissive.)

You lit a fire and you’re speaking at full volume ina city where everyone’s dead or a murderer. That’s incredibly stupid but toeach their own.

ASSOCIATE

(lowering his gun, entranced.)

You’re smart. You should tell me more of your ideas.

MONROE MCSCYTHE

No… No, I don’t think I will. I’m going to leave now.

ASSOCIATE

(waving.)

It was a pleasure to meet you.

MONROE MCSCYTHE

...Yes...

MonroeMcScythe disappears down the hallway, the beam of light turning a corner, andthen gone.

INT. Hospital Entrance. Night.

Associateis staring out the window again. Far in the distance, on rooftops and raisedparkways, there are other fires burning. He squints to make out the strangefigures moving around them. One of the closer camps hints at bizarresilhouettes.

ASSOCIATE

So what about all these guys out there?

DannySunglasses joins him by the window. He follows Associate’s finger to thepopulated embers.

DANNY SUNGLASSES

Oh, yeah… I forgot about them.

DannySunglasses sits back down by Benifer McFuck. They are sharpening knives andcleaning their weapons.They throw damp newspapers on the fire, along with bottles and pieces of plastic. The fumes are confounding.

ASSOCIATE

There’s creatures out there.

DANNY SUGLASSES

Creatures.

BENIFER MCFUCK

It’s creatures.

Word.

2011-10-01T14:52:00.004-04:00

Mixtape #34: Optimus Prime Doesn't Give A Fuck.

tl;dr: I Just Watched Transformers 3 And Optimus Prime Is Great.

I was raised on internet and popular culture so sometimes I drift into hyperbole or full blown AIDS.
This will be a short blog post and it has nothing to do with marketing, advertising, social media, or the Case Study story. This is about Optimus Prime from the Transformer movies by Michael Bay. I say they are Michael Bay's because they have absolutely nothing in common with the cartoon or comics. They barely have anything to do with movies.
I just watched the third one and here's what's going to happen; I'm going to list three things that I love about Optimus Prime.

POINT 1

I don't know at what point Optimus Prime became a robot Clint Eastwood, but nobody is happier about it than me. Optimus Prime runs screaming into a fight and snarls surprisingly savage things when it is tearing people apart with his bare fucking hands. Nobody else in the franchise has any catch phrases and he manages to project them while surrounded by war and executions. Nearly every time he has ever been in a fight, he has growled some badass shit. In the third movie I watched him punch someone's stomach out, and as he is ripping out his throat, he yells "you die." The entire latter half of the movie made much more sense when I realized it was just the dumping ground for the Hulk sequels that Edward Norton kamikazed.

POINT 2

Optimus Prime only has one function in the Transformers movies, and that is to be a Jesus Christ made out of meteors. He is absent for most of the movie - in the second one he was basically in a coma - because if he was around everything would be solved in less than no time even. In the third one he was outfoxed by a bunch of fucking wires and he had to be untangled by the two new guys nobody gave a shit about as if he didn't have swords and axes stashed all over his body. The moment he is freed or wakes up, he runs into the scene like a werewolf made of bats and you realize he is twice the size of everyone and you are witnessing a war crime. He swoops down on wings you never even saw him get and he reminds everyone that he is practically made of weapons. 60% of his movements trigger an explosion packing the raw emotion of a Naval officer running through the streets, yelling that the Axis just surrendered.

POINT 3

Optimus Prime feels no love. Here's a scene in the third one and if you haven't seen it yet I am 100% not making this up: The last fight scene, where Optimus is up against his former mentor and friend Optimus 2 as well as Megatron, he gets his arm ripped off. Megatron beats the shit out of Optimus 2 because the writers realized he spent the whole movie as the Klingons in that Star Trek film where they go back in time to San Francisco in the 80's to save whales. Megatron then proposes a truce to Optimus Prime in the interest of saving their entire species. I'm not sure about this, but it appeared as though their entire homeworld collapsed in on itself and was completely destroyed 3 minutes prior, right above them. I'm paraphrasing half a sentence here, but he basically says "blow me" and swings an axe into Megatron's head and rips it off. He has one arm, you recall. He then walks over to his frail, beaten idol, says pretty much "fuck you," and blows his face off with a shotgun. He then becomes the narrator, says "you're welcome, assholes" to the audience and the world and the movie has a heart attack and suddenly ends.

Transformers 3 was a movie stuffed with very talented people doing absolutely nothing. The last third of the movie swaggers around as if the first two thirds didn't even happen. Most of the characters and plot points established have little or no concequence.
However, I left happy. I left happy because of Optimus Prime becoming self aware inside of the script and realizing that he can get away with anything.